Farmer Wants a Wife Winner

The surprise elimination of both Kanisha and Amanda in Farmer Wants a Wife Episode 7 brought us down to the final two: Brooke Ward and Christa Ackerman. Tonight we’ll find out which of them is the Farmer Wants a Wife winner.

Brooke and Christa hate each other. Still.

Matt wants them to be a wife for a day. He’s made a list of what they’ll need to do. He’s got some errands for them to run.

Brooke will have to catch three chickens, which she will exchange for some pies. After that, she has to pick up a starter, deciding between two (picking the wrong one will cost her $100 to return it). At the bait shop, she must collect 20 crickets.

Christa’s first stop is a visit to the mayor, who’s got a rebuilt carburetor waiting. Then she will have to pay the tab at the market (but not until she decides to add sunglasses, beef jerky, and condoms to it). She is surprised to find out they don’t have any sex shops around. Her next stop is for some horse feed. Not knowing what kind of horses to shop for, she thinks pleasure horses sounds appealing. Matt’s got a dead head in the freezer, which she must reluctantly collect and deliver.

Matt arrives at lunch before they both get back. After both the girls are done with their chores, they run into each other, and from there it’s a mad dash to see who gets back first. Christa is the first one to return home. She gives him the sunglasses (he doesn’t know whether she’s serious). He’s happy with what she’s brought back. Brooke returns, and Matt is also happy with what she returns with.

Matt wants to go on a date with both of them later, but not at the same time again. Brooke will get the first date in the afternoon, with Christa in the evening. Brooke’s got 30 minutes to get ready. He believes she will like anything outdoors, so they go four wheeling to a picnic. He hopes she will become a bit unreserved, as he feels it takes her a while to warm up. He asks her point blank why she’s still holding back. She can’t tell him she loves him because there’s another girl in the picture. After the date is over, she thinks she totally blew it.

Brooke got the fun date. Now Christa gets the romantic date. Matt pulls up on a horsedrawn carriage for a night beneath the stars. Brooke insists on torturing herself and having a look out the window to watch them riding off into the sunset, and she thinks she’s toast. The carriage takes them to his house for a candlelit dinner. There are dead deer heads on his wall, which creeps her out. Her concern is what she will do for work when she moves there. He is happy with how she’s not holding back. There seems to be quite a bit more kissing going on here than there was on Brooke’s date. When she returns, Brooke’s worried, and the fact that Brooke didn’t get a real kiss doesn’t help her fears.

Waiting around for Matt to come make his decision, the girls find out they won’t be alone. The entire town is there (yeah, probably every single person in the town). The mayor is on stage with a band playing in the background. It’s a little on the creepy side. Matt takes the stage and must now pick a wife. He’ll have a cropduster fly over with his choice.

The Farmer Wants a Wife winner is Brooke. Can’t say I’m surprised. If he chose Christa, I would have had to throw something. Matt tells Christa he learned more from her than anybody else, but he feels a stronger bond with Brooke. Both of them say they’ve fallen in love with each other, and she seems to fit in quite well with this small town and its people. Christa’s disappointed with having lost, but she doesn’t seem overly upset that she will be going back to the city.

So what’s next for Farmer Wants a Wife? Given the show’s ratings, I’m not expecting it back, but this is The CW, where anything goes. It may have done well enough where they want to try it again after a season of originals of America’s Next Top Model. Granted, it’s entirely possible by this time next year that the experiment known as The CW may be over, so it’s really anybody’s guess what happens from here.

Farmer Wants a Wife Episode 7

Ashley, who should have gone home to weeks ago, was the obvious pick to get kicked out on Farmer Wants a Wife Episode 6, and so nobody (herself included) was surprised to see just that happen.

The girls get a visit from their best friends (at least they better be since the girls are screaming and running up to hug them). Matt plans to judge the girls based on who they hang out with. Christa tells her friend about people she doesn’t like. Uh, there’s only three other people left, and there’s still a plural associated with this discussion? Christa’s friend asks Matt to take his shirt off when he first walks into the room.

From this point forward, there’s no more sitting pretty, since we’re down to the final four. Matt’s family of about 45 people (there’s like 300 people in the whole town) will be getting together for dinner, which the girls have to cook. These guys are apparently hungry. They all show up at once before the girls are even finished getting dressed. Kanisha puts on a smile and tries to not show the frustration. Meanwhile, everybody else… lets her, while they finish getting ready.

At dinner, Brooke proceeds to get along with everybody. Christa’s got that same look she’s always got on her face. They have to answer a series of questions from the family. Amanda doesn’t know what Matt farms. Christa’s friend tells us chivalry is dead in the city. Matt’s mom Janet says she absolutely sees a farmer’s wife sitting in front of her. Kanisha’s friend starts crying and says she’s in love with the whole family.

After their friends go home, Matt wants to go on a group date of fishing. Amanda’s bored. Christa is the first to catch a fish. Kanisha is afraid of snakes (aka worms), and as she struggles to get away from this killer worm, the girls tip their boat over. So it turns into a swimming party, which Matt believes is more fun for the girls, but he’s happy they at least tried.

Everybody goes back to the girls’ home, and Matt decides to hang around for a while so he can chat with them because there’s a surprise elimination later in the day. Kanisha says she’s had a life changing experience. Brooke wants to know whether he feels a connection with her, and he responds that he does and that they probably have the most in common. Christa wants him to keep her around for a little bit. If you ask me, he’s humored her long enough. Amanda promises that, even though she hasn’t opened up much, things will continue to get better.

At the elimination ceremony, the girls get shotguns. I don’t trust some of these chicks with guns. They have to shoot cans to reveal a sign that says whether they’re safe or not. Kanisha just hopes she doesn’t get her head blowed up. Christa and Brooke are safe. Amanda is going back to the city. Kanisha believes this means she’s safe, and since she didn’t hit her cans, she has to go up and knock them down. When she does this, she learns that she, too, will be going home. That leaves the two bitter enemies in the final two. How fitting.

Matt decides to go on a two-on-one date with the girls who remain. Matt wants them to grab their bikinis. It turns out they’re hopping in a country hottub, where a cow joins them for a dip. Christa informs Matt that she doesn’t like to share and brings up her alleged issue that caused her incessant whining for which someone still hasn’t slapped her upside the head.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another recap of Farmer Wants a Wife episode 8 Farmer Picks a Wife, where we will see who the Farmer Wants a Wife winner is, which airs Wednesday at 9/8c on The CW.

Farmer Wants a Wife Episode 6

Although Ashley proved to be a waste of space, Matt insisted on taking her on a date to get even more proof of it, and instead opted to finally get rid of Lisa in Farmer Wants a Wife Episode 5.

It’s spa day. The girls will be getting pedicures, manicures, and hair done by some local women. Christa is afraid.

Matt wants to see the girls put on a talent show for the town, and he’s brought in a truck of goodies to help them out. The townsfolk will judge who does the best. Ashley says this is her worst nightmare. She’d rather put her head in an oven. Who’s stopping her? In addition to having to come up with their own individual talents, which is easier said than done in itself, they must agree on a group skit, obviously leading to a fight. Kanisha gives us a bit of drama, deciding (for a few minutes) that she doesn’t want anything to do with the talent show.

Christa does, well, I’m not sure what she’s doing. It’s apparently singing. Ashley has warned us she’s talentless. She makes herself disappear. Now that’s a good magic trick. Kanisha does some hula hooping. Amanda sings the Star Spangled Banner. Brooke teaches the electric slide, which, of course, pisses off Christa (is there something that doesn’t make this girl angry?). The town votes for Brooke as the winner. She gets some boots as a prize.

A big yellow bus shows up to take them to a hog roast. Who gets to eat the face? Not Ashley. She’s revolted. Kanisha’s more open, looking to eat the ears and snout (and for some reason she wants to know whether it’s male or female). They decide to play truth or dare. Ashley wants to know if she’s going home tomorrow. If she has to ask, just send her home right now. He lets her know he’s got two people in mind, and she’s one of them. He wants to know whether she still wants to be there. She lies and says yes. At the end of the night, Brooke lets Matt know she wants to finally get a one-on-one date, as she’s the only person so far who hasn’t yet. Kanisha believes she’s the second person up for consideration to be leaving the farm.

For the elimination, they will be testing cows to see if they’re pregnant. They don’t have to pee on a stick. No, it’s worse than that. The girls will have to stick their hands into the rectum of a cow. Whoever gets a non-pregnant cow will be going back to the city. Yeah, I’m eating, by the way. It comes down to Ashley and Kanisha. Ashley is going home. Matt knows she already checked out and left a few days back. She leaves on a positive note, wishing the final four the best of luck, but she’s looking forward to getting back to the city.

Brooke will be getting her date. They go for a boat ride on the lake where they chat and kiss. Christa and Amanda remain jealous of her.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another recap of Farmer Wants a Wife episode 7 It’s a Family Affair, which airs Wednesday at 9/8c on The CW.

Farmer Wants a Wife Episode 5

The campaign by the rest of the house failed to get Lisa eliminated, and much to Christa’s chagrin, Stacey was sent home in Farmer Wants a Wife Episode 4.

The girls learn how to sheer sheep. They’re afraid they’re going to hurt them.

Next they need to bake some pies. Award winning Miss Donna (I never heard of her either) will show them how. Amanda, Ashley, and Christa believe they can bake already. Of course, this is going to be the challenge. They will be judged on their pie baking ability. The pies will be judged on looks, flakiness, and taste. I would not be surprised if these girls have been judged on that criteria before. This (being awake) is a fine excuse for some cattiness between the two sides.

Because half the girls in the house are drunks, they decide to play a drinking game with Matt. Matt’s first question is whether the girls are ready to get married. A couple girls say yes, but Lisa gives an I don’t know. Ashley asks Matt for sex (in a way requiring the censors to step in) and then goes around the table and asks everybody else if they want to sleep with him. Everybody, herself included, knows she’s done.

It’s time to go to the town fair. Lisa’s happy to see sugar and horsies. Matt plays a game and wins a stuffed animal. The vendor decides to give it to Brooke. After that, they’re ready for the bake off. Lisa knows she’s not going to win and openly admits it. Brooke had a nutmeg disaster, mistaking it for cinnamon, which quickly disgusts the judges. Kanisha doesn’t like that the judges are like Simon Cowell. It’s between Amanda and Ashley. Amanda wins hands down. Ashley’s upset because she believes that sticking around a few more days will make Matt forget that she’s vulgar.

Matt agrees to get behind the kissing booth. Brooke gives him a kiss on the cheek. He finds this weird.

Now we’ll find out who’s going back to the city. Ashley is afraid she’ll make a bigger ass out of herself. Lisa believes she’s got a big shot at going home (again). She’s finally right. Matt doesn’t feel she’s made a big enough connection with him, and his reasoning suggests her lack of willingness to say she’s ready to get married is the main reason. When she’s leaving, she apologizes if she offended anyone. The apology falls on deaf ears.

Not only did Ashley end up staying, but Matt also wants to date her. Keep it PG. She gets flowers and a ride in a fancy car. They go to Miss Donna’s restaurant where he quickly brings up the other night. She blames it on the fact that she drank a little bit too much (but doesn’t tell him she apparently regularly drinks a little bit too much). He has difficulty making small talk with her, and she agrees it wasn’t a very good date. Should have kept Lisa instead.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another recap of Farmer Wants a Wife episode 6 It’s Show Time, which airs Wednesday at 9/8c on The CW.

Farmer Wants a Wife Episode 4

Krista hated the country and apparently wasn’t overly fond of Matt either, so it came as no surprise when she got the boot in Farmer Wants a Wife Episode 3. Brooke and Lisa continued to get more shunned by the other girls, so they played the role of stalkers, found out where he lived, and confronted him to let him know not to believe what the other girls say.

Brooke feels like an idiot and blames Lisa.

The girls head to a farm and watch a goat give birth. Matt comes by to bring them to one of his buddies, who needs some help picking his sweet corn. They must fill three baskets with exactly two dozen ears of corn each. And in case you missed it the first 150 times she said it, Christa reminds us she hates Brooke and Lisa. Brooke is first to return with a basket. Kanisha is behind her. Lisa returns with two at once. Christa has one basket. Lisa lost her empty basket, so she takes Amanda’s. Brooke and Christa now have two baskets. Lisa’s got her third basket full. She stops to count. During that time, Brooke comes in, and she doesn’t need anyone to count because she’s sure she has the right number. Brooke wins the challenge. Christa’s mad. Lisa gets caught with the extra basket. Stacey’s still trying to fill her baskets even though the others have all realized Brooke won.

Christa has decided that she’s also better than Stacey and Kanisha, not just Brooke and Lisa.

They will be going to a barn dance. First, they will learn how to square dance. Or they will learn how to square dance once Stacey finishes finding her shoes (and putting on her makeup and doing her hair and going for a latte). While there, Lisa and Brooke want to show off their city girls dance. Since their dance moves may be on the stripper side, Christa takes another opportunity to let us know she hates them. Matt needs to send this whiny chick home already.

Brooke and Lisa are upstairs listening to the other girls, who are downstairs drunk and tossing around hot dogs, commenting on how they’re phallic, and how they hate the immature girls upstairs.

The girls get traditional square dance clothes. Stacey’s pissed off because there’s no designer label (or any label for that matter). Then they go to an actual barn dance (yeah, he wasn’t kidding). At the dance, Amanda grabs Matt as her partner. She takes the opportunity to tell him that some of the girls are fake. Someone might wanna fix that record because it sounds on the broken side. Matt notices that Stacey isn’t really competing for his attention unlike the other girls, which leads him to be worried that she’s not into him.

Not content with her digs at the barn, Amanda asks Matt after the dance how he feels about midnight visits at his house. He realizes that the girls have obviously formed their little groups.

In case I haven’t mentioned it before, Christa wants Lisa gone because she hates her.

Lisa gets another present. Christa’s even more jealous of her.

Everybody will pour some moonshine. Whoever doesn’t have any moonshine is going home to the city. Amanda is safe. Christa is safe. Ashley is safe. Kanisha is safe. Lisa is safe, much to her surprise and Christa’s (continued) anger. Stacey is going home.

Kanisha will be getting the one-on-one date. Ashley wants her to give Matt a hickey and bets she won’t do it. With some encouragement by the other girls, she agrees. They go horseback riding. While they’re chatting on the blanket, he gives her a peck. That’ll have to do. She’s not stupid enough to try to suck on his neck on the first date.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another recap of Farmer Wants a Wife episode 5 As Country as Apple Pie, which airs Wednesday at 9/8c on The CW.

Farmer Wants a Wife Episode 3

Josie proved to be both completely useless and not at all entertaining, but this obvious producer plant only made it as far as Farm Wants a Wife Episode 2. The rest of the house has now set its sights on Brooke and Lisa, although I can’t figure out why yet.

The girls are all washing Matt’s truck. Brooke and Lisa start a water fight with each other. Yet another reason for them to be hated for no reason.

Matt’s mom stops by to tell them they’re going to a quilting shop. Yeah, that’s apparently a real place. After a few people draw some blood, Krista wants to know how much the country sucks. Then the rest of the group jumps on Brooke for suggesting she has something in common with Matt and a connection with him.

It’s tractor time. Lisa is wearing her high heels to go riding. The challenge is to load all their hay bales on a tractor. Kanisha has trouble figuring out how to even get started. Lisa says she’s learned her lesson, a lesson I’d think she would have known before she got on the tractor. At the end, Krista and Brooke are neck and neck racing for the finish line. Just as she’s crossing the finish line, though, Krista drops a bale, which allows Brooke to pass her to win the challenge.

Then it’s time for some barbeque and some arguing about why people hate Brooke. Matt says that the most important quality is attitude and that he doesn’t have a lot of duds in the pack of girls he’s been given to choose from (oh, he’s definitely been given his share).

Brooke’s told that she’s fake and putting on a front. Christa says the reason she doesn’t like Brooke is because Brooke is a smitten kitten, that only Christa is allowed to have feelings for him, and that she’s upset because Brooke ruined her date with Matt somehow. Too much whining going on here.

Everybody heads to the river, and Matt tells them to make sure they bring their bikinis. The conversation leads to more Brooke bashing: everybody is not the same person they appear to be in front of him. Krista raises additional concerns, this time about working on the farm with Matt. The more reserved girls Ashley and Amanda are growing on him. When they all jump in the water, there’s some horsing around. Matt apologizes for hitting Krista with his big piece of wood.

Matt has decided to give the safe girl a gift. He gives Brooke a belt. Krista’s immediately jealous and more bitter. Can anyone whose name ends in rista just be kicked off this show already?

The elimination will be embroidered. The first three letters are A, S, and I. Lisa, Christa, and Krista know they’re on the chopping block. An R follows this. Lisa is safe. Krista knows it’s her, and with good reason. Matt feels like he was boring her. She takes one last parting shot at Brooke.

He picks Amanda to go on the one-on-one date. They’re going to his parents’ house to have dinner. Great first date idea. She says she’d definitely consider being on the farm. She likes that Matt is… hot. She also likes the family and his personality. He feels she fit in so well with them. When they return, a spying Kanisha sees the kissing.

After everybody else goes to sleep, Brooke and Lisa sneak out. They don’t know if they’re going to be killed or not, but they go to see him at his house. The two stalkers managed to find him from magazines he left at the house. They’re hoping that the other girls won’t sway his decision and want him to know that. Once they leave, they’re not sure whether they just screwed themselves or not.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another recap of Farmer Wants a Wife episode 4, which airs Wednesday at 9/8c on The CW.

Farmer Wants a Wife Episode 2

Despite (or perhaps because of) the fact that Josie is clearly a producer plant, Matt chose to eliminate Stephanie in Farmer Wants a Wife Episode 1 instead.

Brooke and Lisa get along because they’re bible thumpers. Christa’s still bitter that they TP’d Matt’s truck.

Matt arrives the next morning to the girls cooking breakfast. One of the blonde girls (if that narrows it down any) says it’s a little boring in the country. Josie has to be instructed to wear a bra.

It’s time to go smell some manure on a pig farm. Who’s ready to get down and dirty? They have to clean the pigs up for the fair to get them looking nice. Apparently they can tell the difference. Stacey loves pigs and is excited. Josie (again) is being a party pooper, and Lisa’s joining in. Chasing after a pig, Stacey slams her head into a wooden beam. She keeps on ticking, and Matt takes notice.

Afterwards, they get cleaned up, and Matt just has to take his shirt off. Kanisha takes the opportunity to clean his (already clean) back. Josie asks him if she wants to test drive the product before he gets married, or if he wants to marry a virgin. His answer is that he’d like to wait, which Lisa appreciates.

Matt goes to see Stacey and check on how she’s doing after having bumped her head. He gives her the option to sit out, but she wants to do the best she can, so she heads out to the challenge. They’ll be milking goats, painting a cow, and cleaning the stalls. Josie calls Matt a son of a bitch for expecting them to participate in these challenges. Lisa is the first one to finish milking the cow. Ashley is next. Krista is in third but is first to paint the cow. Josie ain’t even trying. Krista also finishes the manure cleanup first, and she is safe.

Lisa is frustrated because Matt’s not really communicating with her. A couple ladies agree with her. Christa is still whining.

Matt takes the girls to play Bingo. Josie doesn’t want to sit at the same table with anyone who doesn’t love George Bush. She’s causing problems as usual, letting it be known she won’t marry a man who won’t support her financially and allow her to be lazy. Lisa’s bored after 5 minutes and drags Matt off to the bar. Some of the others don’t like this move and go to the bar to drag them both back.

Each of the girls gets a chance to speak in front of the town and tell them a bit about themselves. Amanda says she’s a bit more reserved than some of the others. Ashley wants to be with someone who’s her best friend. Brooke had boots before and didn’t just buy clothes to go to the farm. Lisa is preaching.

And now it’s time to let somebody go. He sends the girls back to the bar and asks for opinions. Lisa and Josie get the most negative reaction. Only one person won’t get Bingo in this special game, the girl who’s going back to the city. Josie has been sent packing. She responds that he’s too cheap and doesn’t have anything to offer a woman. She refuses to leave until he gives her a present. He offers to mail it to her, but she doesn’t care. Just get out of here already. At least she only lasted two episodes more than she should have.

The drama’s not done yet, though. When the girls get home, she’s still refusing to leave without a gift, saying that the police will have to escort her out. Someone just tranquilize her. They must have some drugs they use on out of control cows. This is seriously pathetic. She’s had her 15 minutes of fame, and she’s really not interesting enough to warrant any more. She makes the guy driving her home call Matt. He tells her he hasn’t had time to get a gift and is busy preparing for his date. She doesn’t care and will wait for him. She stays out there until the cows come home and finally takes the hint, calling him a cheap bastard. Everyone’s happy to see her go home. Don’t invite her back to the finale.

The girls who don’t get to go on the date decide to go out to a bar because they’re getting stir crazy. Adapt or go back home to the city. Most of them hang out together. Lisa and Brooke hang out with the locals, and the others take offense to them getting to know the townspeople.

Stacey is picked for the one-on-one date. They’ll be watching a movie with a barn for a screen. He tells her that it’s not an issue that she’s not a virgin. He gets to learn a lot about her. A real lot. She refuses to shut up. Once he says he’s heard enough about her, he asks about the house, where she takes a swing at the bible buddies.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another recap of Farmer Wants a Wife episode 3 Wet ‘n Wild, which airs Wednesday at 9/8c on The CW.

Farmer Wants a Wife Episode 1

The writers’ strike presented a unique opportunity for some offbeat reality shows to make their appearance. Granted, this is The CW we’re talking about here, so offbeat or not they’re gonna give anything a shot (for one season anyway). And that’s where Farmer Wants a Wife comes in.

Matt, a good looking buff small town farmer with a college education and over 2000 acres of land is looking for a wife, but his small town of Portage Des Sioux, Missouri (population 351) doesn’t offer him anything. So of course, the solution to that is to go on reality TV and meet some city girls who are sick of city guys. Oh yeah, I’m expecting a high cheese factor here.

He’s hoping for someone physically and mentally strong, a best friend who can pull the plow alongside him. The cast of 10 potential mates includes:

Amanda: 21, Poughkeepsie NY, Student
Ashley: 27, Wells Beach ME, Sales Manager
Brooke: 23, Dallas TX, Marketing Representative
Christa: 22, Cincinnati OH, Personal Assistant
Josie: 25, Laguna Niguel CA, Math/Tennis Teacher
Kanisha: 25, Ontario CA, Property Management
Krista: 24, Kelley IA, Accountant
Lisa: 21, Los Angeles CA, Singer/Dancer/Street Performer
Stacey: 25, Owings Mills MD, Sales & Marketing
Stephanie: 23, Boston MA, Jeweler

Lisa tells us she’s a virgin, as does Brooke. Josie says she’s a 10+. Not sure what scale that’s based on, but I’m assuming it’s a broken scale. Her theory is that the farmer’s wife doesn’t work. Texas girl Brooke already has the accent down. Christa’s a party animal who stays up all night long. Night owl + farm = bad math. Stacey is high maintenance but apparently unconcerned she won’t be able to get a pedicure on the farm.

Everybody in town is buzzing. All couple hundred of them. The women land, and there’s nothing as far as the eye can see. Christa doesn’t quite get why the other girls are wearing high heels to the farm. Their tranportation is a school bus driven by Matt’s friend Jason, and some of them have no problem expressing their disgust when they believe Jason’s the farmer and at the luxury transportation they’ve been given.

Matt’s mom is a city girl, who moved to the farm because she fell in love with a farmer.

Stephanie doesn’t like the house. It’s not her style, but maybe she could get used to it… but it’s not her style… but maybe she could get used to it. Josie’s got some plans when she sees the house: cause a flood and collect insurance because the whole thing needs to be renovated anyway. Even worse news, there’s no maid to clean up after her.

Stephanie has never seen a chicken not carved up into little nuggets, and she’s afraid they’ll peck her eyes out. She has less luck with the cows, as she steps in a surprise. Krista and Kanisha want to play with the chickens, though.

Josie tells the girls money is more important than love. She hopes to piss them off by acting like an asshat. Yeah, it’s not much of an act.

Matt got a call from a friend Frannie who needs some help, so they’re all going out to help her out because in the country people actually help each other. The chickens have to go to market, meaning they’ll need to be couped up. Whoever coups the most chickens is safe from elimination. Stephanie’s particularly unimpressed, but she manages to get over it. Josie doesn’t believe any respectable woman will chase chickens like that.

Stephanie: 4
Christa: 7
Josie: 0
Brooke: 6
Lisa: 6
Amanda: 7
Stacey: 3
Ashley: 6
Krista: 10
Kanisha: 10

Both of them aren’t safe. Instead, they’re going to have a pointless coup off. As if either of them is in danger of going home after this effort. Kanisha manages to win this coup off, and she has immunity.

Brooke’s already smitten. It’s a bit early for that, and the other girls are giving her trouble over it.

Following the running around after a bunch of chickens, they all go on a hayride. Brooke is a nanny and loves kids, something Matt agrees with her on. Matt doesn’t do boxers or briefs. He hasn’t found a big use for underwear. Stephanie’s weighing her options and not real sure if she wants to be a farmer’s wife. Matt thinks Josie’s just a little bit insane. He’s underestimating her. She’s bored and pissed off about this date. Kanisha’s tired of that bitch.

The women all wear black to mourn the passing of one of their own, though they’d jump up and down if it were Josie. Whoever doesn’t have an egg under their chicken is going home. Stephanie’s the one who is eliminated. A fair decision, but let’s get real here. Josie’s the best example of joke casting ever. The producers couldn’t possibly have taken this chick seriously, and I find it hard to believe Matt does either without their intervention. Keeping her around is all about ratings (don’t worry… ratings won’t come whether she’s gone or not).

One person will get a one-on-one date, and Matt picks Christa. He’s got a canopy with candles and a rocking park bench. She manages to be a little girly, even though she’s not a big fan of the being girly. While they’re gone, some of the other girls play a prank and TP his truck, but they get busted in the middle of it.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another recap of Farmer Wants a Wife episode 2 Pigs and Cows and Sheep… Oh My, which airs Wednesday at 9/8c on The CW.