Aspen brought us Shelby Tweten in American Idol Season 11 Episode 4. Tonight we head to Galveston, the 64th most populous city in Texas.

Fong Vu loves to sing diva songs. This will not end well.

Skyler Laine likes mud riding and shooting animals and all the great pastimes girls her age love. This country girl will be heading to Hollywood.

Baylie Brown made it to Hollywood way back in season 6. She was paired with two best friends from Jersey, and it went to hell. She’s got the talent to go far. Now it’s a question of whether she’s matured enough to get past group week.

At 28, this marks Kristine Osorio’s first and last year to audition. She took out a loan to pay for her divorce lawyer, but she opted instead to use that money to buy a plane ticket. She’s going to Hollywood.

Jennifer likes Rachael Turner, Reagan Wilson, and Cheyenne James, but the boys disagree. They follow this by putting through bad singers like Linda Williams instead.

Alejandro Cazares has started a revolution. He wants a world where inexplicable things happen that shouldn’t, like Lady GaGa becoming a platinum seller or Barack Obama being President. Whatever his brave new world entails, it will not involve him getting any further.

Cortez Shaw sings an Adele song, and Jennifer doesn’t want Randy to stop him.

Ramiro Garcia was born earless. After surgeries, he proved doctors wrong and is able to both hear and speak. And he can sing, too.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of American Idol Season 11 Episode 6, which airs Wednesday at 8/7c on Fox.

So apparently American Idol was on Sunday at 10 (does Fox even have programming at 10?). Hopefully that’s the last of the creative scheduling. Tonight we head to Aspen.

Jenni Schick is on something. Parents of Virginia, this is the person teaching your children. Annoyingly perky personality aside, she does a decent rendition of a Pat Benatar song.

Curtis Gray is in a 5 person band and has been singing in church from an early age. His performance of Yesterday impresses the judges.

Richie Law, Devan Jones, and Mathenee Treco join him in Hollywood.

Tealana Hedgespeth’s twin is no longer part of their sister act, going to school for performing instead. She tells us her sister is the better singer of the two. I doubt she’s worse. That and she has no distracting piercings.

Haley Smith seems like she’s lost and looking for the nearest 1970s. Steven says he’s honored to be listening to her voice.

Alanna Snare waitresses at a bar famous for selling rocky mountain oysters, which aren’t what they sound like at all. After an anatomy lesson about the reproductive organs about various animals, her singing falls flat.

Shelby Tweten is from Minnesota, don’t ya know? She was recently diagnosed as bipolar and has been suffering with depression for years. Carrie Underwood’s Temporary Home is the perfect sad song for her voice.

Jairon Jackson (no relation) opts to sing an original song. Not crazy about the song, but his voice at least sounds good, mostly.

Angie Zeiderman wants to be Lady GaGa. One’s enough, thanks. Once she’s done singing in a Swedish accent, I half expect her to start stripping. Her second song manages to win over the last hold out, Randy.

Magic Cyclops is the last performer of the night. This should be a complete waste of time. After one terrible song, the judges of course ask him to sing another. At least he proves to have some decent jokes to tell, unlike most of the idiots.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of American Idol Season 11 Episode 5, which airs Thursday at 8/7c on Fox.

Black team dominated face off week in The Biggest Loser Season 13 Episode 3, sending Lauren packing.

This week’s excuse is not having a gym. For the team that loses this challenge, they will not have access to the gym this week.

They will have to answer a series of questions. For each one they get right, they can go through the door. For each one they get wrong, they’ll have to climb through an obstacle. Buddy is at home expecting the birth of his child. Gail will also sit out for the black team. This marks Nancy’s first challenge.

Which common vegetable is a very good source of vitamin C? Cauliflower or carrots.
Cauliflower. The incorrect answer leads the black team through the mud pit.

If you are using a tablespoon of oil to cook with, which is the worst for you? Peanut oil or vegetable oil.
Vegetable oil. Black team again heads into the mud.

What food builds the most muscle? Chicken or fish.
Fish. Both teams end up in the mud.

Which contains the most antioxidants? Pinto beans or blackberries.
Pinto beans. Again both teams are wrong.

Which of these foods contain the most protein? 4 hard boiled eggs or 1 cup of 1% lowfat cottage cheese.
Cottage cheese. Both teams are wrong for the third time.

Having turned in a less than stellar performance, the red team still wins the challenge over the black team, which got every question wrong.

Chris has decided she doesn’t want to be here any more, and she locks herself in the bathroom. Not another one. For the time being, Bob is able to talk some sense into her.

Without access to a gym, Bob’s going to have to get creative so his team can get their workouts. They head outdoors and tell us how cold it is. In California.

Nancy has a question for Dolvett. Have you ever given birth? His frustration with her is just the start. Conda hates him. Like she hates everybody else. She serves as nothing but a distraction, which is why I don’t understand their logic for keeping her last week. He shows her the door. As for Bob, he continues to struggle with Gail.

Apparently it’s going to take an hour and a half to tell us that the state of the union is as bad as it was last year, so we’re greeted by a very prompt end to tonight’s show, with the weigh in starting at the 35 minute mark. Buddy returns in time to hit the scales.

Emily: 235 pounds (-9, 3.69%)
Chism: 320 pounds (-12, 3.61%)
Cassandra: 206 pounds (-6, 2.83%)
Jeremy: 347 pounds (-11, 3.07%)
Gail: 297 pounds (-5, 1.66%)
Chris: 215 pounds (-7, 3.15%)
Megan: 238 pounds (-2, 0.83%)
Black Total: 1858 pounds (-52, 2.72%)

Buddy: 353 pounds (-10, 2.75%)
Roy: 272 pounds (-6, 2.16%)
Kimmy: 197 pounds (-6, 2.96%)
Mark: 255 pounds (-11, 4.14%)
Kim: 220 pounds (-10, 4.35%)
Nancy: 200 pounds (-5, 2.44%)
Conda: 265 pounds (-10, 3.64%)
Red Total: 1762 pounds (-58, 3.19%)

Lack of access to the gym leads to Bob’s team losing. As The Biggest Loser for her team this week, Emily is safe. It’s a battle between the person who seems the least dedicated versus the person who threatened to quit.

Votes
Megan: Gail
Chism: Chris
Cassandra: Gail
Jeremy: Chris
Chris: Gail
Gail: Chris
Emily: Gail

With 4 votes, Gail is not The Biggest Loser, joining her daughter Lauren after last week’s elimination. Upon her return home, she ends up with tendinitis in her hip, but that just means she’ll have to spend more time in the pool. Her goal is just to hear Bob say “You did it.”

Stay tuned to dinguRUE for another live recap of The Biggest Loser Season 13 Episode 5, which airs Tuesday at 8/7c on NBC.

Survivor returns to Samoa for season 24, which premieres on February 15. 18 new contestants in this battle of men against women include the franchise’s first little person and somebody who lists her occupation as ex-NFL player’s wife, so apparently she herself is essentially useless.

Nina Acosta
51
Clovis, CA
Retired LAPD

Jay Byars
25
Gaffney, SC
Model

Christina Cha
29
West Hollywood, CA
Career Consultant

Monica Culpepper
41
Tampa, FL
Ex-NFL Player’s Wife

Colton Cumbie
21
Monroeville, AL
College Student

Kat Edorsson
22
Orlando, FL
Timeshare Rep

Michael Jefferson
30
Seattle, WA
Banker

Leif Manson
27
San Diego, CA
Phlebotomist

Chelsea Meissner
26
Charleston, SC
Medical Sales

Kourtney Moon
29
Austin, TX

Jonas Otsuji
37
Lehi, UT
Sushi Chef

Bill Posley
28
Venice, CA
Stand-Up Comedian

Matt Quinlan
33
San Francisco, CA
Attorney

Alicia Rosa
25
Chicago, IL
Special Ed Teacher

Troy “Troyzan” Robertson
50
Miami, FL
Swimsuit Photographer

Greg Smith
64
Houston, TX
Plastic Surgeon

Kim Spradlin
29
San Antonio, TX
Bridal Shop Owner

Sabrina Thompson
33
Brooklyn, NY
High School Teacher

Savannah brought us Gabi Carrubba, Shannon Magrane, Schyler and Colton Dixon, and Phillip Phillips in American Idol Season 11 Episode 1. Tonight we head to Pittsburgh for another and thankfully abridged audition night.

Heejun Han doesn’t know why he’s here. It turns out he’s the Korean Michael Bolton. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing, but it’s good enough for Hollywood.

Reed Grimm’s been part of a family act since he was 2. His rendition of the theme song of Family Matters sounds interesting enough, though the weird stuff he does with his body is distracting.

Aaron Marcellus and Chase Likens will be joining Reed in Hollywood.

Samantha Novacek has pointlessly brought her sister, Patricia Bell, along with her so that she can plank in front of her while she sings. Disregarding this, we find a decent voice in Samantha.

Creighton Fraker sings a song he wrote on the way there. I don’t get it. Then he sings a real song. Over the top, but good.

Eben Franckewitz hops in his parents’ van for a road trip. He sings Ain’t No Sunshine, and he’s one to watch, another in the string of talented younger auditioners.

Travis Orlando was rejected last year. Since we last saw him, he dropped out of high school after his mom left his family. Decent enough voice, and he narrowly makes it through.

Erika van Pelt is a mobile DJ and a wedding singer. Simon would have a field day with her, but she turns out to have a decent voice.

Shane Bruce followed the family trade out of high school… he’s a coal miner. Not good enough, but I think he’ll be back. So begins a not yet montage.

Hallie Day dropped out of high school at age 15 and moved to New York to join a girl group. That went about as well as could be expected. She sings I Will Survive, and Jennifer thinks she could win.

The next episode will be on Sunday. Oh, not this creative scheduling nonsense again.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of American Idol Season 11 Episode 3, which airs Sunday at 10/9c on Fox.

It’s the return of the really awful judges and mediocre singers. At least we know that, unlike The X Factor, the judges won’t bicker much. Because they agree that everybody is beautiful and refuse to offer any criticism except to call one of the better singers boring. Here’s hoping Jennifer and Steven can prove less completely useless than they were last year. We start things off in Savannah, Georgia.

David Leathers, Jr. calls himself Mister Steal Your Girl. Really? The judges let him through in spite of this, calling him a young Michael Jackson.

Gabi Carrubba is a champion tap dancer who also happens to sing. I suspect we’ll see her on SYTYCD next. Speaking of which, she doesn’t care about Randy, Jennifer, or Steven, but she does want to hug Nigel. She’s going to Hollywood.

Brianna Faulk, Neco Starr, Molly Hunt, and Elise Testone will be joining her.

Jessica Whitely has sung the national anthem a lot. Her shouting does not go over well, but she threatens to be back in Texas.

Shaun Kraisman is apparently auditioning to be Ryan Seacrest. He’s willing to work for free, which would save them about $15 million, and Rupert Murdoch seems desperate enough to find ways to make money that won’t actually work, what with his staunch support of SOPA and PIPA. His singing falls flat, though.

Shannon Magrane is 15 and already 6 feet tall. Her father, Joe Magrane, pitched for the St. Louis Cardinals in the 1987 World Series. She brings him and her entire family out on stage, which Steven views as the best opportunity to make inappropriate comments about underaged girls. I’ve seen this story before with Jordin Sparks, and she can sing, too.

Amy Brumfield lives in a tent in the woods. She’ll have to pitch her tent behind the mansion.

Joshua Chavis dreams of singing the national anthem at a NASCAR race. Not a bad singer. Not good either. His bubbly personality quickly turns into a sobbing hissy fit.

A nervous Stephanie Renae seems like she’s going to be eaten alive by the process, but she pulls it together for her audition. Her idol is Carrie Underwood, so she’ll be doing one of her songs. The right look with a good voice that just needs a bit of work. Randy says not yet, but the other two let her through.

Schyler Dixon auditioned with her brother Colton last year. He has decided not to bother this year in spite of his top 48 finish, but she’s back. For someone who lists himself as a musician/face painter, you’d think the judges wouldn’t have to badger him into singing again. In any event, they’re both going to Hollywood.

Lauren Mink works with adults with disabilities, and she tries to bring music into that work when she can. Jennifer gets goosebumps.

Mawuena Kodjo is from west Africa. This is American Idol, no? I’m pretty sure. I heard Ryan Seacrest say it. And the guy who wants to be Ryan Seacrest. He claims to be singing a Rascal Flatts song. Disregarding the tone deafness, Randy makes him an offer to pound the pavement and find someone to say he’s good. Finding some combination of the youngest and oldest audience he can, he’s able to get people to support his advance to Hollywood. Still a no.

Ashlee Altise invented a lame dance called joy hopping that the judges encourage, offering further encouragement by letting her go to to the next round.

WT Thompson’s wife is 6 months pregnant, and he just quit his job so he could audition. Steven says no, but the other two say yes. This risk isn’t going to pay off.

Erica Nowak wants to make Steven Tyler her future ex-husband. After she cops a feel, she’s done for the day.

Brittany Kerr is an NBA dancer who gets a yes before she sings a note. Jennifer isn’t interested in hearing any more of what she calls a pretty voice, but the boys want to see more.

Phillip Phillips carries his guitar with him into the audition room but starts off singing Superstition a cappella. Randy has him grab his guitar, and he follows that up with Thriller. This is the audition people will be talking about in the morning. Not sure it was all that great, but still, memorable.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of American Idol Season 11 Episode 2, which airs Thursday at 8/7c on Fox.

In between the political coverage and following a stupid bet by his team and much whining from Conda, Mike found himself on the losing end of the vote in The Biggest Loser Season 13 Episode 2.

They are greeted by the smell of Chinese food. There are 41,000 Chinese restaurants in the US, more than McDonald’s, Wendy’s, and Burger King combined.

This week, each member of the red team will face off against one member of the black team. In that face off, the winner earns a point for their team at the weigh in. The prize at temptation is a 2 pound advantage. If nobody eats or if they eat the same amount, they will automatically be matched up against their loved ones.

After the other team leaves the room, they are given 5 minutes to discuss and eat what they want. In spite of that warning, the red team refuses to eat anything, even a 30 calorie fortune cookie. Unlike the red team, in which only Roy supported the concept of eating something that could be burned off in a minute or two, most of the black team seems to support at least eating the lowest calorie food item. A debate ensues. Cassandra eats one, and she eats a whole other one as well, giving her control for just 60 calories. She can keep the two pounds for herself or split it amongst her team, and she will also choose the matches.

Roy (6.21% lost) vs. Emily (5.30% lost)
Jeremy (5.14% lost) vs. Lauren (5.28% lost)
Joe (6.44% lost) vs. Nancy (4.61% lost)
Chism (5.54% lost) vs. Kim (6.35% lost)
Mark (5.84% lost) vs. Chris (5.83% lost)
Megan (4.25% lost) vs. Buddy (7.69% lost)
Gail (4.35% lost) vs. Kimmy (5.94% lost)
Conda (5.44% lost) vs. Cassandra (7.95% lost)

Joe packs his bags and says he’s quitting. Two whole weeks is apparently enough for him. In the season that’s supposed to be about no excuses, missing your family seems like one of the more convenient ones that could be used. At the end of the day, he should still benefit from his time on the ranch, but he obviously hasn’t learned what he went there to learn. For his team, this is the worst possible week in which he could leave, as they are depending on individual efforts now more than ever.

Gail continues to test Bob’s patience in the gym. Cassandra finds herself struggling as well, but she pushes through it and has a breakthrough.

The trainers pit the competing contestants against each other in various exercises. Emily beats Roy. Cassandra beats Conda, who has an excuse that it must be because Cassandra’s a cheater. Cassandra feels like kicking her ass. Who doesn’t?

The challenge is to get to the prize in the center of some ice, which they must melt with water they pump and then pass along the course by dumping it from each teammate’s bucket into the next. Nancy sits out for the red team. Megan says she lives on a farm doing chores like this. Apparently not. With her unable to get any water to the rest of the team, Bob swaps her out with Chris, and the water finally starts moving. On the other end of the course, Kimmy is afraid of heights, a ladder. Black team is closing the gap, but the red team retains their lead to win the challenge. The prize is a video chat with their families. Mark, Lauren, and Roy opt to give their prizes to their loved ones. Buddy gives his to Mark.

With two weeks down and two to go, Bob surprises the aqua team with a visit and a workout. Unlike Joe, they seem to really want to be on the ranch.

In order to get Conda to shut up, Dolvett arranged a rematch between her and Cassandra. She still isn’t shutting up, but hopefully she will (albeit ever so briefly) when she loses again.

Because Joe quit, his team forfeits his point, one of the ones they were originally most likely to win. Cassandra gives 1 pound to Megan and 1 pound to Gail, both of whom were pretty heavily outmatched based on the performances so far.

Nancy: 205 pounds (-2, 0.97%)
1-0 red team

Megan: 239 pounds (-8, -1, 3.63%)
Buddy: 363 pounds (-9, 2.42%)
1-1 tie

Gail: 302 pounds (-6, -1, 2.27%)
Kimmy: 203 pounds (-3, 1.46%)
2-1 black team

Jeremy: 358 pounds (-11, 2.98%)
Lauren: 230 pounds (-3, 1.29%)
3-1 black team

Emily: 244 pounds (-6, 2.40%)
Roy: 278 pounds (-9, 3.14%)
3-2 black team

Chris: 222 pounds (-4, 1.77%)
Mark: 266 pounds (-8, 2.92%)
3-3 tie

Chism: 332 pounds (-9, 2.64%)
Kim: 230 pounds (-6, 2.54%)
4-3 black team

Cassandra: 212 pounds (-8, 3.64%)
Conda: 275 pounds (-3, 1.08%)
5-3 black team

This puts Cassandra at the top of the leaderboard for the season thus far. Having won 5 out of 7 face offs, the black team wins the weigh in. Conda picks a fight with Dolvett because he doesn’t believe she’s doing her homework, and the scale suggests he’s right. Now she’s pissed off at him, too. Clearly somebody has an attitude problem if she’s going to keep getting into it with everybody. She’ll need to get over herself before she can improve herself. In the meantime, can she be sent home now? Please?

Votes
Nancy: Kim
Kim: Nancy
Lauren: Nancy
Conda: Lauren
Buddy: Lauren
Mark: Lauren
Roy: Nancy
Kimmy: Lauren

With 4 votes, Lauren is not The Biggest Loser. Since she came to the ranch, Lauren has lost 53 pounds, and she ran a half marathon in under 3 hours. Her goal is to his 130 pounds by the finale, which would give her a decent shot at the at home prize, and seems entirely achieveable.

Stay tuned to dinguRUE for another live recap of The Biggest Loser Season 13 Episode 4, which airs Tuesday at 8/7c on NBC.

In The Biggest Loser Season 13 Episode 1, one of the heaviest contestants, Ben, decided he’d had enough and asked to be sent home. At the start of the show, Adrian and Daphne were also eliminated and not allowed in the house for at least a month.

The player with the highest percentage of weight loss of the winning team will be able to give immunity to one person on the losing team, pretty much guaranteeing they will be able to keep the person they came into the house with safe.

Kim & Kimmy and Emily & Joe volunteer to be the leaders. They are given the opportunity to win a 5 pound advantage with their bids. They also have the opportunity to give the other team a 5 pound advantage if they win the bid but fail to achieve the results. Alison reminds them that they lost 3.64% and 3.98% last week. With that in mind, Kim & Kimmy bid 3.8% (94 pounds) with their first bid. Black team does not bid. In seasons past, the average weight loss in week 2 is 2%. Everybody thinks the Kims are crazy, but they’re proud of what they just did.

Dr. H shows up to talk to the brothers, but then we’re interrupted for breaking news, for the 0 people who didn’t see it coming. Mitt Romney won New Hampshire. At least he won early and they didn’t preempt the results, for a speech that was still being written.

When we return, it’s time for a challenge. Every member of the winning team will get The Biggest Loser Meal Plan every day for 6 months. They will work to turn the anchor wheel and pull in the puzzle pieces, then solve the puzzle. Nancy offers to sit out for the red team. Her role is that of an annoying cheerleader. Both teams end up neck and neck at the end, racing to hoist their puzzles. In a photo finish, black team wins the challenge.

Dolvett seems to have learned from the master. Bob is not happy that his routine has been stolen to be used against him.

During the challenge, when they had about half a dozen pieces, Gail opted to take a break and pretend she was working on the puzzle. That didn’t get her very far. Now they head outside, and she decides to take a rest and sit on a tire. This will get her even less far.

Dolvett doesn’t think Mike is 150% dedicated, which would be kind of impossible. Mike’s alone in the house. Even his half brother just hangs out with the black team all the time.

Kim: 236 pounds (-3, 1.26%)
Kimmy: 206 pounds (-4, 1.90%)
Roy: 287 pounds (-5, 1.71%)
Lauren: 233 pounds (-4, 1.69%)
Nancy: 207 pounds (-5, 2.36%)
Conda: 278 pounds (-7, 2.46%)
Mike: 338 pounds (-7, 2.03%)
Mark: 274 pounds (-8, 2.84%)
Buddy: 372 pounds (-9, 2.36%)
Red Total: 2431 pounds (-52, 2.09%)

2% would have been a risky wager, but it would have been a reasonable risk. 3.8% was just dumb. Black team gets a 5 pound advantage as a result.

Gail: 308 pounds (-5, 1.60%)
Megan: 248 pounds (-4, 1.59%)
Cassandra: 220 pounds (-5, 2.22%)
Emily: 250 pounds (-4, 1.57%)
Chris: 226 pounds (-6, 2.59%)
Joe: 334 pounds (-8, 2.34%)
Jeremy: 369 pounds (-7, 1.86%)
Chism: 341 pounds (-8, 2.29%)
Black Total: 2296 pounds (-47, -5, 2.22%)

Thanks to the 5 pound advantage, the black team wins the weigh in. As The Biggest Loser on his team, Mark is safe. With the highest percentage of weight loss on her team, Chris also gives Roy immunity.

Kim lost the least and was part of the gamble that cost them the weigh in, so she would be a logical choice to get rid of. However, Conda hates Mike for no good reason and wants to make this personal. His lack of effort at last chance training is all the ammo the rest of the team needs.

Votes
Kim: Mike
Roy: Mike
Mike: Conda
Conda: Mike
Nancy: Mike
Kimmy: Mike

With 5 votes, Mike is not The Biggest Loser. Hopefully Conda will shut the hell up now. From his starting weight of 358 pounds, Mike is now down to 302 pounds but is still struggling to stop smoking.

Stay tuned to dinguRUE for another live recap of The Biggest Loser Season 13 Episode 3, which airs Tuesday at 8/7c on NBC.