I couldn’t decide which of the two was more useless, but it didn’t matter because both Joe and Tara were sent packing in Beauty and the Geek 5 Episode 9. Now we’re down to the final three: Matt Carter & Leticia Cline, Tommy Severo & Amanda Corey, and Chris Follett & Cara.

Since only two teams make it to the end, one of these teams must be eliminated right away. It’s a pop quiz about how well each person knows their teammates.

What do the geeks think is their beauty’s hidden talent?
Matt: Leticia barks like a dog (correct).
Tommy: He doesn’t recall that Amanda knows the states in alphabetical order.
Chris: Cara likes to sing apparently (correct).

What superpower would your beauty want?
Tommy: Flight (correct)
Matt: Flight (correct)
Chris: Telekinesis (Cara says that’s wrong and stupid)

What personality do the beauties think their geeks have: George Clooney, Albert Einstein, or Dan Cook?
Leticia: George Clooney (Matt says Einstein)
Amanda: Dan Cook (whoever that is, it’s right)
Cara: Albert Einstein (Chris agrees)

Who does the beauty think was the most beautiful person in the house this season?
Matt: Matt (Leticia says Kristina)
Tommy: Jillian (Amanda says Amanda)
Chris: Kristina (Cara agrees)

Chris & Cara are safe.

Sudden death question: What is the first thing the geek does after he gets out of bed?
Leticia: Bathroom (he says he turns on the shower first)
Amanda: Exercises (correct)

Tommy & Amanda will also be moving to the final two to compete with Chris & Cara for title of Beauty & The Geek 5 winner. That means Matt & Leticia will be going home, though they deserve to be there more than Chris & Cara do.

On the last day, all the eliminated houseguests have returned to spend the day with the final two. Amber’s back and has been told (by a bitter Kristina) that Tommy has a thing for Tara now. Stick with Tara, dude, as Amber doesn’t even like you in that way anyway. Tara and Kristina quickly get into a rat fight. Neither of them win.

Amanda’s concerned that Tom is so distracted by Amber. She wants to concentrate on the challenge. Even if they have no clue what the challenge is going to be, or whether it will even be a challenge for that matter. He tells her he won’t get distracted this close to the finish line.

When they wake up the next morning, the former cast members are gone, or, rather, missing. They need to use what they’ve learned to find them. Each person is at a place in LA that represents their personality. They’ll drive around searching, and it’s first come first served, so they run the risk that they’re not just going to the wrong place but possibly going to the right place after the other team has already picked that person up.

They have a computer with Internet access and a book of clues with information on each castmate. Chris & Cara find Amber at fashion institute FITM. Tommy & Amanda find Jonathan at Jax restaurant but have no logical plan how to proceed from there. Amanda learns how to spell Lincoln. Chris & Cara try to find Jason at a Gold’s Gym, but Tommy & Amanda already got him. But Chris & Cara do manage to get to nearby Matt first. Tommy & Amanda arrive there as well too late. Tommy remains calm, which makes Amanda freak out more. Tommy & Amanda also arrive at Greg too late. Chris & Cara also get Tiffany at the Saddle Ranch bar. Tommy & Amanda find Randi. Then they find Tara at the Roosevelt Hotel. Both teams are having issues with traffic.

The full results are now ready to be revealed. The team with the most passengers will be the winner of the $250,000 prize and become more than just a beauty and a geek. If only I knew who the heck all these people are, I’d make a list, but let’s just go with a number count.

Chris & Cara: Four
Tommy & Amanda: Five

With that, the Beauty and the Geek 5 winners are Tommy & Amanda. Both Chris and Cara express happiness for their opponents.

Rumor has it that Beauty and the Geek is done, at least for the foreseeable future, unless the producers can come up with a compelling twist to shake things up. Considering the typical quality of the twists they throw at us, I’m not holding my breath, but even still, there is hope that it will come back in this current format but just not any time soon.

In a typically bad twist, following a vote that led to a four way tie, Tommy & Amanda decided to send Jason & Kristina home in Beauty and the Geek 5 Episode 8. And Tara decided to be bitch-like to Joe.

The guys decide to give Jason a Viking funeral. It doesn’t get much more geeky than that.

Tara claims she and Joe turned a new leaf. Hopefully it sucks less than their last leaf.

The beauties are going to work on home improvement. Cara thinks there’s a cute plumber on Desperate Housewives. Tara doesn’t want to smell poo.

The guys are going to be doing fashion. Tommy wants the chapter on sweater vests. There’s probably just one sentence: don’t wear them. Chris has a great deal of familiarity with putting on makeup. Too much. Joe doesn’t understand what’s wrong with the clearance rack.

Tommy’s still obsessed with Amber. Get over it already, dude.

Some geeky girls come out for the geek competition, and it is up to the geeks to give them makeovers. The beauties will determine who is the winner without knowing who made over which girl. The first step is for the geeks to take before photos. Then they have to pick out outfits, followed by telling makeup artists and hairstylists how to make them over. And lastly some after photos. The beauties must vote on a scale of 1-4 how dramatic the makeovers were. They’re trying to play strategically, guessing which one their partner actually did. Way too easy for that to backfire. The top two were Chris and Tommy. Chris is the winner of the makeover challenge. Leticia’s annoyed by his celebrating. Tara’s not happy with Joe’s performance and still fed up with him. Why are these two still here?

The beauties will need to fix a bathroom that looks like a poorly maintained gas station restroom. Like any good plumber, they keep the producers busy with blurs covering their cracks. Leticia is the first one to get the tub unclogged, and she ends up finishing the sink and the toilet before anybody else is able to even get done with the tub.

Leticia & Matt and Chris & Cara are safe, meaning that Joe & Tara and Tommy & Amanda will be going to the elimination room.

Tara gets the first question correct. Tommy gets his first question correct. Amanda gets the second question right. Joe gets the second question for the guys right, bringing us down to one final question. Amanda is correct, and she and Tommy are safe. Joe & Tara have finally been given the boot. Not sure how much either of them have learned. Still, they do at least go out on a positive note, or they try anyway. He’s in the middle of explaining how he’s lucky to have known her, but she cuts him off because he spits while talking, grossing her out too much to finish the conversation. An appropriate conclusion.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another recap of Beauty and the Geek 5 episode 10, when we will find out who the winner is, which airs Tuesday at 8/7c on The CW.

Randi was obnoxious from the start and continued to get worse as the season went on until she finally got the boot in Beauty and the Geek 5 Episode 6. Greg was also there somewhere, taking the fall for his partner’s actions.

Everybody will be going to a snow resort, Big Bear Lake. Most people are excited, but Chris doesn’t view it with the same elation.

The house will miss Greg, but he left behind a cake that he spent all day baking. They all share it, which turns out to be a very serious religious experience.

On the bus ride to the resort, the group tells stories of dangerous things they’ve done in the past. Chris’ story is about a 50 gallon trash bag full of acetylene, a small room, and a match. Stay on this guy’s good side.

When they do arrive, Chris isn’t any more positive. The rest of the gang is having fun in the snow, while he goes off and stares into the distance on his own, which worries his partner Cara.

The fact that Joe’s got a crush on her is troublesome to Tara, who has no interest in him and doesn’t want to pretend otherwise. She’s more interested in Tommy anyway. In an effort to completely offend Joe, she builds a wall in the middle of their bed so she doesn’t have to get anywhere near him. It’s obvious Tara hasn’t learned anything in her time at the mansion.

Matt has developed a personality in his head that he’s Don Juan, and he wants to go around and be a total pimp. He cuddles for a bit with Cara.

The challenge is about building teamwork and sleds. The beauties will build a sled with the tools their geeks bring them. They can only get one tool at a time. Once the sled’s built, they’ll climb the hill and complete the course together. Joe and Tara fail to communicate, and it’s obvious they will fail the challenge. Cara has no idea what she’s doing and has no plan. Kristina and Jason are having difficulty communicating. She blames him for not knowing what the term “bottom black piece” means. Regardless, they manage to finish the sled a mile ahead of everybody else. She takes full credit and considers him an idiot. They come close but don’t quite finish the course, so they have to go again, good news for the others. They do so much worse the second time and don’t even come close. In this time, Cara manages to finish, and she and Chris get to go. Poorly. They wipe out pretty quickly. Amanda and Tommy are next to finish the sled. Kristina and Jason wipe out a third time. On their first go, Amanda and Tommy cross the finish line and win. They both give each other credit and work well together, something that the first two teams can’t do.

Since everything’s running fairly smoothly, it’s time for a twist, and like all the other twists on this show, it’s not that good of a twist. Each team gets one vote. The team with the most votes will not be returning to the mansion. In the event of a tie, the winners of the challenge will decide.

In the middle of everybody making a decision of who to vote out, Tara and Joe decide this would be the best time to have a loud argument about how she’s ignoring him. She tells him that 60% of the time she can’t stand him and wants to strangle him.

Votes
Kristina & Jason-Tara & Joe (because of the way Tara treats Joe)
Joe & Tara-Kristina & Jason (Tara got her way)
Chris & Cara-Matt & Leticia (because of Cara’s relationships with Kristina and Tara)
Matt & Leticia-Chris & Cara (out of fear of being targeted)

I’d have thought somebody could have played this scenario smarter so it didn’t end up in a 1-1-1-1 tie. With all the teams having a vote against them, that leaves Tommy & Amanda to make the tiebreaking vote. Each of them have picked one team to stay. Tommy picked Matt & Leticia. Amanda, unfortunately, picked Tara & Joe. Because Chris & Cara have taught Amanda a lot, they have chosen Jason & Kristina for elimination.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another recap of Beauty and the Geek 5 episode 9, which airs Tuesday at 8/7c on The CW.

Sources close to production told Variety that, once Beauty and the Geek 5 airs its season finale this month, the show will be cancelled, at least for the time being, with the possibility of it being revived at some point years from now when it’s had enough time so that it seems fresh again.

Not a surprising concern because this show has gone through some unnecessary and lame twists that, despite the intent to keep things fresh, just ended up spoiling the show because they were poorly executed.

The network is said to possibly reconsider if the producers can come up with a twist on the current format. It had been previously suggested that they should try a show with nerdy girls and buff guys, and the concept of focusing on age is being thrown around.

So what would The CW replace Beauty and the Geek with? At this point, I’m not sure it even really matters any more.

Rather than embracing his makeover like everybody else, Joe decided to whine about it, so the girls targeted him for elimination in Beauty and the Geek 5 Episode 5. That’s where we left off, without any elimination just yet.

Because they skipped the elimination for the night, the house decided to play a prank on Tara, who believes the house is haunted. Joe doesn’t want them to do this and throws them out. Of course, Randi’s the one to get all up in his face to protest this. His response is to try to spit on her after he gets tired of listening to her mouth, much to Cara’s surprise that this happens in real life (as real as Beauty and the Geek is anyway) rather than just Jerry Springer. Then she flips out (more) and keeps going on and on and on (as usual).

If Tara or Joe win a challenge this week, they will no longer be marked for elimination.

Geeks will become firefighters. Matt can’t compete in the challenge due to his football injury, but Leticia can take his place in the challenge. Greg is hoping that there are hot firefighters there. They head to the LA fire department training facility, where they will put on full gear, attach a line to a hydrant, carry a charged 40 foot hose to the building, extinguish a fire barrel, go up a fire escape, rescue their beauties, and leap two stories with them.

Joe - 4:40
Greg - 5:10
Jason - 7:25
Leticia - more than that
Chris - 3:29
Tommy - 3:22

Matt’s able to follow up on rule #74 from his book of 100 rules of life: be somebody’s hero.

The girls will be doing math. Leticia wants to sleep out in the sun because math is hard without sleep. Randi calls math stupid. Cara hates math. Tara seems serious, though. They go to a recycling and transfer station. They need to jump into a pile of trash and grab cans (worth 3 cents), plastic bottles (7 cents), and glass bottles (10 cents). They need to collect exactly $5. Most of the girls are big babies about the smell of the trash. Cara is first to think she has the right amount, but she’s only got $2.03. Randi knows for a fact she’s got $5 but may be off by a can. Her actual total is $6.95. Tara’s giving up. Apparently, this trash is going to make her die tomorrow, and it’s not worth the effort for quarter of a million dollars. Leticia thinks she has $5 but actually has $5.03, just one extra can. Kristina spoke up right after her. She actually has the right amount, and she wins the challenge.

Amanda wants to take out the threats, but the others would rather get rid of someone who isn’t growing (Randi obviously). Tara and Joe, who were nominated last week, will be going up against Greg and Randi. Randi believes it’s because she’s a threat. I’d argue it’s because she’s obnoxious. At least we both agree her personality is the problem. She seems to be confused that standing up for yourself means mowing other people down and being loud. The house is happy to be getting rid of the conflict between Randi and Joe (she’ll start with someone else if she survives), but they’re not happy to see Greg in danger.

Tara gets the first smarter than a third grader math question right. Joe gets the first hero question right. Randi gets the second math question right. Neither of the guys are able to answer the silly question about James Bond (who I guess is supposed to be a hero). Joe answers a question about The Sopranos, and Randi and Greg have been eliminated. Good riddance to Randi. Joe apologizes to her for what he’s done. Not only does she not apologize in return nor accept his apology, but she continues to rant and rave. And that’s why it’s good she’s getting kicked off the show. Randi doesn’t believe there’s anything wrong now or that there was anything wrong with her to begin with.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another recap of Beauty and the Geek 5 episode 8, which airs Tuesday at 8/7c on The CW.

Jim and Tiffany headed home in Beauty and the Geek 5 Episode 4. In addition to them, Jonathan had to leave the mansion because he was the last one standing after the girls all picked partners.

The girls would prefer to have Tiffany back over Leticia, who apologizes because she’s not good at being around girls.

It’s time for the geeks to get a makeover. Let’s figure out who’s actually a geek and who was geeked up for the show. Greg wants to be a piece of meat for once in his life. Tara wants to make sure Joe’s no longer a cowboy and less stinky. Just the basics: deodorant, daily showers, washed underwear. He doesn’t like hearing that everything about him is wrong. Randi wants Greg to have pants that actually fit. Tommy’s quick to notice he’s not a size 2 and that he must be looking at women’s clothing. Tom tells them to do whatever they feel like doing. Joe doesn’t want to wax, but the stylists don’t care.

Greg is a boy version of Randi, which he proves by saying “Shut up, bitch.” Tommy unsurprisingly looks good. They couldn’t do anything with Matt’s inch thick glasses, but they have managed to make his hair and clothes look good. Joe is unrecognizeable in a good way but not at all happy. He’s lost his safety blanket and talking like he’s throwing in the towel.

In this week’s team challenge, it’s winner take all. The winning team will hold all the power, as well as being able to attend the world premiere of Prom Night. They will be writing, rehearsing, and performing their own love themed show with the assistance of the stars of The Young and the Restless. Tara’s repulsed by the thought of kissing Joe, but at least they were warned no tongue. Jason wants a bunch of romance and perhaps a sex scene, but his partner Kristina wants to do a soap opera (what’s the difference?).

Jason and Kristina decide to just improv. She finds the whole thing comical. Tara finds it easy to play a golddigger who can’t stand Joe. Obviously, Randi and Greg aren’t a believeable couple, so they do a story where he confesses to her he’s gay. Chris & Cara are far fetched, which is apparently exactly what they’re looking for on The Young and the Restless. Tom kills his partner. Matt & Leticia actually like each other as people, and she’s not at all upset about kissing him. With this performance, it’s obvious they’re going to win.

Leticia is thinking about nominating Joe because of his attitude, while Matt’s thinking about Chris & Cara as a threat. They’re told that nobody’s going home tonight, but they still have the power: the power to choose who to take with them to the movie premiere. They pick Greg & Randi. The four remaining teams will decide who will be headed to the elimination room next week, which cannot be Matt & Leticia or Greg & Randi. They come up with a plan of having a challenge to put the decision into the person’s hands. Somehow, they come across the idea of a cross dressing fashion show competition. The girls pick Joe for being creepy as a woman, though they were gunning for him anyway.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of Beauty and the Geek 5 episode 6, which airs Tuesday at 8/7c on The CW.

Beauty and the Geek 5 Episode 3 quickly evolved… into the night of lame twists. Jillian was eliminated in a lame twist in which she went home immediately after losing the flag football game after she volunteered to go to the other side when one geek and one beauty switched sides. Then, they decided to remove the lame twist that started the season, turning it back into beauty and the geek rather than beauty vs. the geek. But not before announcing that the odd geek out would be eliminated. Once the other six beauties had chosen their partners, it came down to Tara having to choose between Jonathan and Joe, the two neither of the beauties wanted.

Tara has selected Joe. Jonathan must now leave the mansion.

This week’s challenge is a science challenge. The girls will be learning about geology, solar energy, and the laws of physics. They’ll present their projects at the science fair. The guys will learn the science of love. Seriously.

Tom’s paranoid talking about sex. He’s hoping that people asking for love advice won’t mention the subject.

The girls have picked three different science projects to display at the science fair. Kristina built a volcano, but she put her speech off until the last minute. Tara does the solar energy project, but she doesn’t bring her calculator with her. Amanda believes magma is still called magma when the volcano erupts. Leticia says “I suck.” Cara comes up with a unique way of explaining the earth, by boiling a hard boiled egg. She gets asked a question she doesn’t know, and she just changes the subject so she’s able to give a competent answer. Jim’s response to Tiffany is *facepalm*. Cara is the clear winner of this challenge.

Dr. Drew will be assessing the guys on their knowledge of relationships, as they give out advice on the radio. Matt says he skipped some of the more sexual portions of the book. Greg recommends a thong to his virgin for the moment caller. Jason gives advice on cheating. Chris suggests to a caller that she should build friendships first, rather than worrying about getting dates. Tom also gets the virgin, and he’s able to offer some good advice. Joe rambles on and on, but he not surprisingly won’t shut up. Dr. Drew says it came down to Jason and Tom. Jason was sweet, honest, and sincere, while Tom really connected with the caller. Tom is the winner of the geek challenge. He gives Amanda credit for the win because of her advice to him.

Jim wants a kiss from Tiffany. She’ll have to think about it.

The two teams in power get together to discuss their strategy.

Cara chooses Matt & Leticia. Leticia blames herself. Tom chooses Jim & Tiffany because they haven’t had anybody go into the elimination room yet. Matt gives Leticia a letter to read just in case they survive. She’s already crying before she’s even read it. Jim tells Tom he’s going to get revenge if he comes back.

The first to buzz in gets to answer. Beauties are up first. Leticia gets a ridiculously easy question right. Jim gets his question right to tie it, as he knows married couples average sex 1.5 times per week (what’s the .5?). Leticia gets the second question right. Jim gets his second question right to again tie it. Leticia once again gets the right answer, and she and Matt stay in the house. Jim and Tiffany are headed home.

Jim says he’s learned to wear pajamas and deodorant. I certainly hope so. Doesn’t look like he’ll get that kiss, though.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of Beauty and the Geek 5 episode 5, which airs Tuesday at 8/7c on The CW.

The girls were quickly divided into those who happen to be there to learn something and those who think flirting will get them somewhere in Beauty and the Geek 5 Episode 2. The flirting side scored a point, and Amber was sent home, cutting her “romance” with Tom short.

Tom believes he’s going to be dating Amber when he leaves. Not if she has anything to say about it.

Each team must pick one member of their team to go over to the other side. Jillian volunteers to go over to the geek team. Chris also volunteers to be traded. If their team loses, they’re automatically going home. So one of them will be booted no matter what. No, this is lame and stupid.

The challenge is a sporty one. So who does this favor? A couple of the girls are fit, but the rest are merely shapely thanks to genetics. One of the geeks is surprisingly bu-uff, but most aren’t very sporty. It turns out they’re playing flag football. Not a lot of happy faces on either side. Joe tries to confuse everybody with a bunch of excessive terminology. Might want to just focus on running the right way and without tripping. Chris, in his pink shirt, hat, and lip gloss, takes control of team beauty. It quickly turns into full contact flag football. Chris discovers that the geeks can’t defend against the run, which allows him to take the lead against his old team. Joe’s team still can’t figure out a word he’s saying. So he decides to charge into Randi, which is fine by me. At the end of the first half, beauties lead 6-0.

Tara complains that somebody touched her boobs. This is so not fair. All I see are girly parts. Tom manages to score to tie the game at 6, but the beauties score next to take the lead 12-6, then again at 18-6. Jillian knows it’s probably her last night there, so she doesn’t want any fighting. Matt gets tripped and injures his shoulder, as the medics drag him off the field. The geeks go for a “throw touchdown thing” and are down 18-12 with two minutes left. Once Chris returns the kickoff for a touchdown, though, the game’s obviously over, and the beauties win.

So I guess that means Jillian’s going home. Did I mention that this twist was lame? In addition, the geeks are at risk for elimination since they lost.

Matt returns with a broken bone and a brace on his arm, but he’s still sticking around.

The girls especially want Joe gone because of his behavior the day before, and they’re not happy with Jonathan creeping them out. Chris rejoins the geeks on the stairs, but he’s safe for now. The game will now shift to duos, one beauty and one geek. They realized the original twist was stupid, too. There are 8 geeks and 7 beauties. One geek will not be selected, meaning that person will leave. Oh. Lame. Again. Who’s coming up with the twists on this show? This is worse than Big Brother.

Cara-Chris
Amanda-Tom
Leticia-Matt
Randi-Greg
Kristina-Jason
Tiffany-Jim (not Jonathan as the beauties had previously agreed)

Tara has to choose between Jonathan and Joe. She doesn’t pick anybody because they apparently don’t have the two seconds to reveal the answer, so that will happen on the next episode.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another recap of Beauty and the Geek 5 episode 4, which airs Tuesday at 8/7c on The CW.

This year’s lame twist turned out to be as bad as last year’s lame twist in Beauty and the Geek 5 Episode 1. In a competition based show, a wrench like beauty vs. the geek gives one or more people an obvious advantage in the challenges.

Tara’s not happy to see Jonathan come back. She thinks he’s just odd.

Amber thinks Tom’s good looking and hopes that one day he will be really rich and take care of her. For some reason, he likes her, too.

The next challenge is a talent show. The girls are worried that they’re talentless. The guys may have less self confidence, but they’re confident they’re more talented than the girls are. The beauties spend their time bickering. The geeks are working on… a rap?

The beauties eventually give up and decide to play spin the bottle instead.

Amber reveals to the other beauties that she’s just playing Tom so she doesn’t go into the elimination room.

The beauties have finally come up with something. They’re going to do a dance routine dressed up like Britney Spears (before the children/losing her mind). Unfortunately, there’s no actual “routine” to their dance routine, so they just do random dances. The crowd hates them.

The geeks are a whole different story. Their hodge podge of talents comes together well to form an entertaining and funny show.

Unsurprisingly, the geeks win the challenge. Amanda realizes that they failed to use something other than their beauty, thereby failing to realize the whole point of the challenge. At least she’s showing some growth, even if her teammates aren’t. The geeks will be able to send 5 of them to the elimination room.

Some of the girls are studying. Some of them would rather try to sell themselves. Amber continues working the Tom angle. Leticia and Tiffany hop in the hot tub because they feel studying is beneath them. The guys appear naive enough to fall for this. What this also accomplishes is it gets the other girls to hate them.

The geeks focus on who they want to keep. They turn this into an excessively complicated Congressional measure. Even some of the geeks are confused by it.

Amber (who blames a “certain person” on her team), Amanda, Randi, Kristina, and Jillian. Amber disputes the fact that Leticia hasn’t been sent to the elimination room, and on this point, I agree with her. Leticia’s wasting space there in hopes of getting an extra modelling gig. Not that Amber’s any better.

Amanda knows Chicago is in Illinois and is safe. Kristina is the next one safe by knowing the name of a play. Jillian knows math and is also safe. So it’s down to Amber and Randi. Randi knows the question about hookers, and Amber is eliminated. She says the experience hasn’t changed her any. She is willing to talk to Tom if he still wants to talk to her after this, though she’s not interested in having him as a boyfriend.

Stay tuned to Beauty and the Geek 5 episode 3, which airs Tuesday at 8/7c on The CW.

In an effort to make this a ridiculously crazy reality TV night (Fox has American Idol 7, NBC has The Biggest Loser: Couples, and CBS has Big Brother 9… and if you explore further, you’ll find Reality Chat on TV Guide, America’s Next Top Model on VH1, High School Reunion on TV Land, True Life on MTV, Deal or No Deal on CNBC, America’s Funniest Home Videos on ABC Family, and Real Housewives on Bravo), The CW is jumping into the ring with the premiere of Beauty and the Geek 5. Check out the Beauty and the Geek 5 cast, which unlike last season does not include a male beauty and female geek since nobody liked that twist the first time.

This season, it’s not beauty and the geek. It’s beauty vs. the geek. What the point of that is I’m not real clear.

Greg is a gay geek (the clothing designer part in his bio gave that away). Joe tells us sex is overrated. Tommy collects sweater vests. Jim looks like he just stepped off a VW bus in the 70s.

Amber says she’s a 20. Someone slap her. Tara hits up daddy for money whenever she needs it. Kristina isn’t stupid… she just… doesn’t know stuff. Tiffany says her IQ is a little below average, probably around 200.

Amber lets Greg sleep in her room. All of the girls immediately like him. He’s afraid he doesn’t fit in with either group.

The girls get together to plot strategy. Amber doesn’t want to hear anything about it, choosing instead to get in her bathing suit and sit on Joe’s lap. She makes an alliance with him, even if she can’t remember his name afterward.

The challenge is about numbers. It’s about getting phone numbers from strangers. They’ll go to a Hollywood club full of hot guys and girls. To level the playing field, the girls are getting a makeunder, from fat to bad skin to bad clothes. Even still, it’s unfair because the girls may not be as pretty as usual, but they’ve got a lot more self confidence and people skills.

The task is sped through, with no clear indication of who did how well, just that everybody struggled to an extent. Mike will call all the numbers and make sure they’re actually real.

The real drama begins after the challenge. Randi and Amber try to prove they’re the most obnoxious of the group, getting into a screaming match. It’s a pretty close race.

The beauties won the challenge. Wow. Shocker. I hope all the challenges aren’t this lopsided, but I don’t see how they can make them much fairer. As with last year’s twist, it’s obvious from the first night it’s a stupid idea.

Having won the challenge, the girls will have to send 5 geeks to the elimination room. They want to come up with the four guys who they most don’t want to see have a chance of going home. Since he has a girlfriend already, Chris is sent to the elimination room. Tommy is as well, which doesn’t surprise me because he looks like the guy who’s the ringer of the group. Jonathan and Joe are more social than the others. John is the last one sent to the elimination room. That leaves Greg, Jason, Jim, and Matt as safe.

They’ll all get questions. The first person to answer right stays. If they answer wrong, they’re out. Tommy is safe from elimination, having correctly recalled a girl’s phone number from a video clue. Chris knows how to speak like he’s on AOL, saving himself. Jonathan is the next one safe. Joe saves himself by knowing that you can get someone’s attention with your eyebrows. John has been eliminated. Lame quiz format accompanies the lame twist.

Stay tuned to Beauty and the Geek 5 episode 2, which airs Tuesday at 8/7c on The CW.