Big Brother 13 Episode 6

Adam & Dominic were nominated in Big Brother 13 Episode 5. Adam trusts he’s not the target. Jordan says they have to work with him, for right now, though she does not trust him. Dominic feels he is the target, and his partner is a traitor. Meanwhile, Rachel is angry that the prettiest girl in the house has not been nominated. Don’t worry. She has no intention of messing with your man.

Jordan instructs Adam to throw the veto. Contrary to Jordan’s plan, Daniele and Rachel want Dominic to win veto.

In response to her reaction to Cassi, Jordan calls Rachel almost ridiculous. The risk here is that they help Cassi bond with Jeff and Jordan.

Joining Jeff, Jordan, Adam, and Dominic in the veto competition, Brendon and Rachel are selected at random. Rachel suggests winning the competition and changing the nominations. They want to make a deal with Dominic and then all of them partner with Daniele. This is a worse alliance than the last worse alliance. Oh, but they’re not turning on Jeff and Jordan. Rather, they are not making good decisions. The lone voice of reason is Brendon, who doesn’t to do this behind their backs, but he does not protest much.

This is a singles veto competition, so Adam won’t be able to drag down his partner. The challenge is to chew gumballs, cross the balance beam, and fill in a veto portrait. Jordan’s looking forward to this. She walks and chews gum all the time. If you fall, you’re out, unless you’re willing to accept two weeks of slop, though a second fall will eliminate you anyway. Adam doesn’t even have to try to throw the competition because his balance sucks. Go ahead and try your hardest, dude. Jordan is the first to fall. She offers to take two weeks of slop, but Jeff talks some sense into her because neither of the girls is going to win this. This leads to more whining from Rachel, as vocally as possible (as if there’s an alternative from her). Rachel falls, but she takes the two weeks of slop. She very quickly falls again after that. That was stupid. Hope you proved the point you were trying to make. Jeff and Brendon give him a run for his money, but Dominic ends up winning the veto.

After the competition, Jeff picks a fight with Rachel due to the comments she made during the challenge. Brendon’s behind her 100%, aside from the fact that he doesn’t understand why she made a comment that they shouldn’t even try if the HOH isn’t going to try. Rachel hides in the bushes and cries. She decides she doesn’t work with them any more (you were working with them in the first place?), but Brendon doesn’t want to get nominated.

Adam’s just as happy as Dominic because he’s safe, too, all without breaking his word.

Rachel suggests that she could be a bitch and tell them that they let Jordan win HOH, but Brendon has her instead make a fake apology that nobody buys.

Jordan realizes a simple fact. If Brendon and Rachel had the option, they would ignore her and nominate whoever they wanted.

As much as he wants to be in this new alliance, Dominic doesn’t want to break ties with his old alliance either.

Dominic uses the veto to save himself and Adam as expected. In his place, Cassi and Shelly have been nominated.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of Big Brother 13 Episode 7, which airs Thursday at 8/7c on CBS.

Big Brother 13 Episode 5

Following Keith’s eviction in Big Brother 13 Episode 4, Jordan won HOH.

Rachel thanks her lucky stars that the newbies are idiots.

Everybody pretends they were on the same side. Adam acknowledges that they approached him. When he says this, Dominic walks out of the room. They’re both ready to turn on each other.

Dominic’s new strategy is to flirt with Daniele. Good luck with that.

Adam continues to be honest, this time telling Jeff and Jordan he didn’t vote with them. If he’d just kept his mouth shut, it’s possible nobody would have known anything. Now neither side of the house can trust him.

Rachel hates Cassi and wants to get rid of her on that basis. Didn’t Rachel say she wasn’t going to play emotionally this year?

Jeff, Jordan, Daniele, and Porsche automatically get a pass for the have/have not competition. The others get dressed up in ant costumes with both partners in one outfit. Bring on the really bad not so hidden nor clever sexual references. The first duo to crawl across the backyard picnic four times will be able to choose the two who are have nots. Kalia and Lawon clearly have no prayer as usual. Cassi & Shelly likewise aren’t going to win this. Brendon & Rachel are leading from the beginning with their only threat being Adam & Dominic. Brendon & Rachel end up winning.

Before the decision, they need to rescue Kalia, who apparently got may or may not have gotten injured toward the end of the competition. The medic comes to check her out and wipe away the mostly fake tears.

Dominic & Adam and Cassi & Shelly are chosen to be have nots for the week, meaning that Kalia and Lawon are haves for the week. In addition to slop, the have nots get jelly beans and jerky.

Dominic makes a pitch to the veterans. He wants to team up with them because his back’s against the wall and he’s out of options. Well, that’s an appealing proposal.

Cassi tells Jeff & Jordan they’re not her targets. Brendon & Rachel are, though she’s not opposed to getting rid of the other new people either.

So now it comes down to a choice of two. The other two girls hate Cassi. Shocker. Jeff & Jordan would like to target Dominic, though.

Jeff is automatically safe.
Daniele and Porsche are also automatically safe.
Rachel & Brendon are safe.
Shelly & Cassi are safe.
Kalia & Lawon are safe.
Adam & Dominic have been nominated for eviction.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of Big Brother 13 Episode 6, which airs Wednesday at 8/7c on CBS.

Big Brother 13 Episode 4

How long can one of the “greatest players ever” last without America pulling the strings? In Big Brother 13 Episode 13, we got our answer with the departure of Evel Dick: a couple of nights. The situation on the block remained unchanged, and tonight either Porsche or Keith, both disasters at playing this game, will be going home.

The Regulators want Porsche gone, for good reason. She’s clearly not on their side and has never had any interest in being there.

The veterans have realized something. They need to stop hiding up in their room alone away from everybody else. Actual veterans would have realized that long before now.

Brendon & Rachel get into a stupid fight because she told people she calls him Bookie. His poutfest is the result of his insecurity in his masculinity. Is this really happening?

Shelly and Adam are the potential swing votes that they hope to sway. Shelly is told that they want to get rid of Cassi. Their strategy to get Adam: think of their nickname. Really? Kalia doesn’t seem to be on their radar, in spite of how much she hates Keith.

Dominic: Porsche
Brendon: Keith
Jordan: Keith
Cassi: Porsche
Lawon: Porsche
Jeff: Keith
Daniele: Keith
Adam: Porsche
Kalia: Keith
Shelly: Keith

By a vote of 6-4, Keith has been evicted from the Big Brother house. In spite of Porsche being more like a Kia, Keith’s big mouth got him in trouble. Congrats to Shelly and Kalia for giving away the numbers, but unbeknownst to them they’re on the bottom of either totem pole, so I don’t know that it really matters either way. For the time being, though, it puts them in a good spot. The other newbies will go after the veterans, while the veterans will go after the other newbies. Being in the middle has its advantages at this stage of the game, no matter how much Rachel hates floaters.

Rachel is not eligible to compete as outgoing HOH. Daniele and Porsche are also out because they have golden keys.

The HOH competition is mini golf. They have to get closest to the hole in 1 without landing in the water hazard. Dominic gets a 6. Adam gets an 8. Cassi goes in the water. Shelly also goes in the water. Lawon follows suit. Kalia ties Dominic. Jordan takes the lead with 3. Jeff and Brendon throw it to give Jordan the HOH.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of Big Brother 13 Episode 5, which airs Sunday at 8/7c on CBS.

Big Brother 13 Episode 3

With a house still divided in Big Brother 13 Episode 2, Rachel nominated Keith and Porsche.

Porsche’s both surprised to be nominated and not sure who she has an alliance with, if anybody. Sorry lady, pretty much nobody has your back. But you go ahead and trust these idiots and throw the competition.

Dick is called to the diary room. He does not return. After a couple hours of not hearing his big mouth, they start wondering what happened. Rachel is then called to the diary room. She returns to make an announcement. ED is gone due to “an urgent personal matter.” As a result, Daniele gets a free golden key and trip to the top 10.

Good riddance. Next time, CBS, well, first of all, don’t let there be a next time. But if you have the option to pick returning houseguests, please make it somebody else. I said it last week, and I’ll say it again. This was a really bad choice.

This puts the “veteran” alliance in a position they thought they weren’t before, one of not having the numbers.

The girls refuse to allow Brendon downstairs and take out his frustration on the newbies. He’s pretty well thrown in the towel. Jeff is the only person trying to remain positive.

Meanwhile, Keith’s celebrating is not going over well with all of his side either. Then he calls a meeting to confront the two people on his side that he doesn’t trust, Porsche and Kalia.

The HOH Rachel, her partner Brendon, the nominated pair Porsche and Keith, and one other duo will participate in HOH. Jeff & Jordan are chosen at random. Convenient.

Porsche says that she’s clearly playing with somebody who doesn’t want to play with her. I wonder why. Could it be that you turned at the first opportunity?

They walk outside wearing tights. The competition is to repair their skyscrapers, veto puzzles. One person will fly across the yard while the other hands them pieces. Keith and Porsche will both be throwing this competition, and they both believe that the other does not know. The problem is that Jeff & Jordan are doing just as badly as them, even though Porsche says a fifth grader could put this puzzle together. By default, Rachel & Brendon win the power of veto.

America’s vote will give the have nots gum drops and grits, jelly beans and jerky, or rock candy and radishes. What’s the point?

Their victory leads Brendon & Rachel to believe they have some sort of power. No, not really. Your week of power is pretty well done. Just hope you win again next week. First, they make a deal with Dominic & Adam, dictating to them that they will be kept safe and must return the favor next week, as well as vote as how they want. Next up, Kalia & Lawon. Lastly, Cassi & Shelly get the same speech. The first two couples play along, but Cassi is honest that she doesn’t trust the four person alliance that doesn’t look like it’s going to break.

Now that she doesn’t trust Cassi & Shelly, it doesn’t end there. Rachel asks Keith for safety for herself and Brendon plus Jeff and Jordan for as long as they’re playing in duos. Really? Do you think anybody would stick to this stupid deal? You’re being far too greedy. Safety for yourself and Brendon, okay, maybe. Safety for your whole alliance, it ain’t happening.

For all this talk, the power of veto does not get used. Porsche and Keith are both happy with this.

So why does Big Brother end at 8:55 anyway?

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of Big Brother 13 Episode 4, which airs Thursday at 9/8c on CBS.

Big Brother 13 Episode 2

Anybody remember classic Big Brother when it was just a bunch of strangers in a house without constantly changing rules? Once again, this season will not be that. Big Brother 13 Episode 1 showed us that, as again they threw the rule book out the window and presented us with three twists that can only serve to make things suck. As it is, I’m already not happy about the concept of returning house guests (it may work for Survivor and The Amazing Race, but it does not work for Big Brother), let alone the morons that they chose.

Adam wants a golden key and is willing to throw his partner under the bus to get it.

I see they have still do not understand the definition of a floater. A floater is someone that floats back and forth between the powers. Not merely somebody who doesn’t do anything or refuses to win competitions (because only idiots win competitions they don’t need to win).

Porsche wants to team with the “all stars.” Keith plays along but thinks it’s a stupid idea.

The bad news for Jeff & Jordan is they’re pretty much stuck teaming up with the villains.

Dominic, Keith, and Lawon have a side alliance to protect each other. Not good news for Adam, Porsche, and Kalia. Dominic later approaches Cassi to add her to the fray. The alliance would not be complete without a stupid nickname, The Regulators.

ED says Brendon & Rachel weren’t the greatest strategists in their season. Do you want to be the pot today, or would you like to be the kettle? He only got as far as he did because of America’s Choice and Eric being a dumbass.

Brendon tells Rachel she doesn’t need to alter her body to feel more confident. Have you seen her chest lately? I’m sure you have.

Porsche quickly leaps at the opportunity to switch sides, and she’s not shy of telling her partner that, which he of course spreads to the others.

The first have not competition is for an uncomfortable room, cold showers, and slop. Brendon & Rachel are automatically haves for the week. Adam & Dominic pair up with Keith & Porsche on the green team. Shelly & Cassi team up with Kalia & Lawon to form the orange team. Dick & Daniele team up with Jeff & Jordan on the blue team.

After they get dressed up as cows, they walk out into the back with a moon and lots of milk. Their milk-powered spacecraft needs refueling. Where do they get their writers anyway, and do they get paid by the very bad pun? They have to dive into the milk and then return and squeeze out as much milk as they can. Jordan informs us there’s no such thing as space cows. Thanks for that.

Green team fills up the first jug first on their way to six. Keith is having a little too much fun being the milker, while Lawon takes the opportunity to strangle his partner. Blue team takes a 1 jug lead with their fourth. In the end, the blue team ends up winning. Green team’s got 1 jug lead over the orange team, so it’s only a matter of time. The orange team of Shelly, Cassi, Kalia, and Lawon are the have nots for the week.

The have not room is an insane asylum. Appropriate. The lights in the room cannot be turned off ever.

Adam gets the same offer from ED that Porsche did. Jeff’s happy to let him do the dirty work. Unlike Porsche, who jumped without thinking about it, Adam is skeptical. He agrees, but he will only play along to the extent he has to do so.

Rachel wants to get rid of Keith, but she doesn’t trust Porsche. She tells us she won’t make emotional decisions this season.

Brendon is automatically safe.
Daniele & Dick are safe.
Jordan & Jeff are safe.
Lawon & Kalia are safe.
Shelly & Cassi are safe.
Adam & Dominic are safe.

Keith & Porsche have been nominated for eviction. Porsche is pretty shocked that her alliance with the all stars got her nominated. Really? Keith’s comfortable that he has The Regulators on his side, but he’s going to need more than that.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of Big Brother 13 Episode 3, which airs Wednesday at 8/7c on CBS.

Big Brother 13 Episode 1

So far, 8 contestants of the Big Brother 13 cast have been revealed:

Adam Poch
Cassi Colvin
Dominic Briones
Kalia Booker
Keith Henderson
Lawon Exum
Porsche Briggs
Shelly Moore

They will be joined by 6 additional mystery contestants, pairs from past seasons. No official word yet who those people will be, but based on CBS’ teaser list of possible contestants, prepare to I’m sure somebody’s going to be pissed off (me, for starters).

Evel Dick and his daughter Daniele. Yeah, good luck in a season that America isn’t rigging for you. Brendon & Rachel. They probably have as good a shot at sticking together as any reality show couple, but that doesn’t make them any less annoying. Will & Boogie, okay, they’re masterminds. Too bad Will claims he’s not doing the show this year. Hayden & Enzo. I’ve gotta give credit to the Brigade alliance for what they accomplished (based on everybody else being morons, but props nonetheless). Jeff & Jordan. Big Brother and then Amazing Race. Yeah, I’m over them. They’re no Rob & Amber. Lastly, Jessie & Natalie. Don’t know how they would plan to fit E.D.’s ego in the same house with Jessie.

This will not end well. All Stars sucked (thanks, idiots from season 6). Half Stars can’t be any better, particularly since most of these people suck at the game.

In addition to the fact that three preexisting pairs are coming back, the other eight will be forced to join

Dominic loves doing crazy things and getting his blood pumping. He’s only slowed down by living with his mom. Cassi loves country music, fishing, and beer. Lawon has loud and bold style. Keith is a youth minister who chases girls when he’s not in church. Shelly believes in looking like a lady, acting like a man, and working in like a dog. Adam loves heavy metal but embraces his feminine side and loves Beverly Hills 90210. Kalia has the gift of gab and believes like she’s really like good with words. Porsche is a VIP waitress. So basically a hooker like Janelle, who she happens to know.

Keith will not be leaving home without his bible. Adam does not want religion shoved down his throat. Kalia really loves sex. Dominic is a virgin and plans to remain that way. Shelly doesn’t plan to clean up after anyone, even mama’s boy Dominic, but being the mom in the house is a great strategy. It’s not as if they have anything else to do anyway.

The first four to enter the house are Porsche, Dominic, Lawon, and Shelly. They get their pick of rooms, and the guys end up bunking with each other while the girls go find their own pink room. Shelly thinks Porsche sounds like a stripper name. Cassi, Kalia, Keith, and Adam enter next.

They do the math. 12 place settings, 10 beds, 8 people.

Keith pretends he’s a matchmaker, and he wants the women to feel comfortable going to him. Porsche pretends she’s a student because her job (waitress) is “too luxurious.” I don’t think anybody’s going to believe she goes to school. Continuing the trend, Cassi pretends she’s not a model, although Dominic immediately says he is.

Instead of two individual houseguests being nominated, one duo will be nominated each week, at least until the twist falls apart and flat on its face. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

Keith promptly asks Porsche to be his partner. Apparently, he believes Julie’s instructions were to pick a prom date. Shelly and Cassi are similar in that they are southern tomboys, so they team up. Adam then asks Dominic, who supposes he has no choice but to say yes. By default, Kalia ends up with Lawon, and she ain’t happy because it’s not like this is a guy that can fly under the radar.

The eight make an agreement to stick together against the others. That won’t last.

The doorbell rings. Here comes the lousy news. Rachel & Brendon are the first returning couple. Rachel’s voice is already echoing through the house. Oh, and they’re engaged. Next up, Jeff & Jordan. Not that they need to be back, but I suppose I don’t mind them. Looking at the list, I’m comfortable with any of these couples returning other than Daniele and Evel Richard. Please don’t tell me they’re the third couple. Oh god. Kill me now. Hopefully one of the twists this season is that these two get slapped around. Repeatedly.

E.D. introduces himself as the only winner in the house. You’re forgetting Jordan, who not only won but actually played a good game. In spite of how “touching” season 8 was, he and his daughter (who’s no longer a blonde) haven’t spoken in 3 years (again). Shocker.

Walking into the back yard, they are greeted by some big bananas. Each duo must hold their bananas as long as possible. Last one standing will be the new HOH, giving them and their partner safety for the week. Shelly is the first one to drop, and she doesn’t want it anyway. Jordan falls, which does not surprise either her or Jeff. Keith drops. Then goes Cassi. And Lawon. Adam is the next to fall. The new contestants are falling like flies. Jeff is next to go, followed closely by Dominic. Brendon falls. Kalia falls, leaving Porsche as the only hope the newbies have. The chocolate’s been flowing for a while, so here comes the whipped cream. Porsche drops. Rachel tells Dick and Daniele they’re safe if they fall. He agrees. His daughter reluctantly follows suit. Rachel wins HOH.

Time for one last twist. Hopefully this one does not suck. Whoever survives the nominations will receive the Big Brother golden key, which guarantees them a spot in the top 10, meaning safety until week 5. Those people will not participate in any competitions, but they will still have a vote. For a change, this is an actually interesting twist, bringing a new element of strategy to the game. I take it this also means the stupid duo twist will be dead in a month. Of course, the flaw in this is that there’s an immediate restriction of people to nominate. As it is, the choices are cut in half by the duo twist. Add to it the key twist, and the number of possible nominations in week 4 dwindles to 3.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of Big Brother 13 Episode 2, which airs Sunday at 8/7c on CBS.

Big Brother 13

Big Brother 12 concludes tonight, so now would be a good time to move forward apparently.

Having seen a 5% increase in viewers, 4% increase in adults 18-49, and 3% increase in adults 18-34 this season, CBS is already announcing plans to bring Big Brother back again next summer for season 13.

“Big Brother is our summer hero,” said Jennifer Bresnan, executive vice president, alternative programming, CBS Entertainment. “Every year, our producers deliver innovative twists and turns, consistently evolving this proven franchise and engaging one of the most loyal and interactive fan bases on television and online.”

I just hope next year’s cast is better. And the twists less lame.