Category: america’s got talent

A look at some of the horrible acts from America’s Got Talent 3 Episode 2.

Acts include the guy who hurt my ears (might wanna turn your volume down), Paulina and her mom, Drumtazia, The Ozzman, some horrible magicians, CJ King (51-year-old Cyndi Lauper), and the singing fairy.

Joseph Hall does Elvis Presley on America’s Got Talent, and he’s surprisingly good.

The Russian Bar Trio is a Canadian circus act. Here’s their performance on America’s Got Talent 3.

Lil Countrie and Page 1NE are a dancing duo from New Orleans. Having survived Hurricane Katrina, they’re here to have some fun. Here’s a video of their dance from America’s Got Talent 3 Episode 2.

America’s Got Talent 3 Episode 1 brought us some more talented individuals (and some not so talented ones). Opera singer Neal Boyd looks to be the frontrunner thus far, although 4-year-old Kaitlyn Maher captured the most attention.

Tonight we start off in Los Angeles.

55-year-old part-time nanny Victoria has been waiting for this break her whole life. She’s a singing fairy. Oh no. Do we really need to see this to know how badly she’ll bomb? Piers buzzes her quickly. Then the audience boos her. Hasselhoff buzzes her. Sharon wants her to keep going. Piers calls her a bit weird and says that her dream is his nightmare.

Eli Mattson typically travels for days on buses just praying he’ll finally hit the right random place on the map. He sings Walking in Memphis while playing the keyboard. He’s pretty good, if not quite great. Piers tells him he’s got talent. Sharon can’t believe he hasn’t been signed. Hasselhoff’s reminded of a young Billy Joel.

Former small town gal Cassie now works in a bar and has purple hair and tattoos all over. Her stage name is Miss Pussykatt. In an effort to prove to her parents that her talents can take her somewhere, she does a grinding act, where she shoots sparks off the metal clothing she’s wearing. She won’t win $1 million with this, but it’s entertaining to watch nonetheless.

Lil Countrie & Page 1NE survived hurricane Katrina but are pressing on. They tell a story about their uncle, who sacrificed himself so that the kids could be rescued instead. They perform a very impressive acrobatic dance act. Hasselhoff calls them the best tumblers he’s ever seen. Sharon calls them brilliant. (Video of Lil Countrie & Page’s performance)

Next stop is New York.

Michael is an extreme percussionist. His act is called Drumtazia. Does anybody tonight not have a stupid name? I don’t get this act, stupid name or not. At least they finally buzzed him. Piers tells him he’s a complete and utter looney.

Family boy band Next II None (what, you expected a name that wasn’t stupid?) sings Bye Bye Bye. They’re bouncing around too much to really judge their singing ability, but they’re good performers. Sharon notices a lack of a great lead singer but appreciates what they did. Piers likes the whole package. They’re going through to the next round.

The Canadian Russian Bar Trio consists of two men (holding a bar) and one woman (doing gymnastics on the bar). The bar is about 4 inches wide, and they’re bouncing her about 10 or 15 feet in the air. I’m impressed she didn’t break anything. They’re going to continue on. (Video of Russian Bar Trio’s performance)

Ozzy Osbourne impersonator The Ozzman is happy to meet Sharon. She’s not quite as happy to meet him and listen to him suck. Piers gives him a yes to give Sharon a hard time, but the other two reject him. He promises us he’ll be back.

The Taubl family is a group of string musicians, with parents and kids of varying ages. Piers buzzes them. Eventually, they begin singing as well. They’re good, but I doubt to what extent they’d be entertaining to watch for any length of time. Hasselhoff calls them an excellent act. Piers sort of admits he may be a tiny bit wrong and wants them to continue on.

The DC Cowboys are fit guys who plan to dance and shake their butts. They’re bound to have the women on their feet, even if most of them are probably gay. Hasselhoff thinks America will love them. Piers thought it was good fun.

Next stop is Chicago. So like do we keep going round and round in circles to the same cities each week?

Kevin Taylor (look, a real name) is a brick breaker. He hopes this appearance will allow him to be taken seriously. He will break 100 bricks on fire. He gets through it just fine, despite his hand catching on fire. Don’t try this at home. Sharon says no because she doesn’t want to see him get hurt. Hasselhoff says yes. After convincing him it won’t be more of the same (which was my concern as well), Piers lets him through.

Chellena Black-Harris is a singer who two years ago was diagnosed with cervical cancer. She’s happy to have the opportunity to be able to perform now. It only takes a few notes for her to show she’s got talent. Hasselhoff says this is what the show’s all about. Piers calls it good but not great, with three or four singers that have gone through who are better than her. The audience lets him know they’re fully behind her, and he agrees to let her go to Vegas.

Johnny Olshavsky is a magician. Piers is quick to buzz. Then the audience boos. Then everybody buzzes him. Piers doesn’t even want to let him speak. If only there were a point to this act.

Following a pathetic magicians montage, husband and wife Jonathan and Charlotte Pendragon come out. He tells us a story of how he nearly died when an arrow went through him. He hops in a case, and she ties/locks him up. They end up reversing positions, and when the case is opened, she’s the one tied up inside it. This magic act finally gets a thumbs up.

The rest of the tribute acts have fallen on their faces. Now it’s time for the king. Joseph Hall is one of 8 million Elvis impersonators. Jerry Springer tells us Elvis is not dead (he just went home). Piers likes that he sings how he looks. Sharon wants to keep staring at him and wants to know whether she’d be robbing the cradle. (Video of Joseph Hall’s performance)

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another recap of America’s Got Talent 3 episode 3, which airs Tuesday at 9/8c on NBC.

Following an emotional story about his childhood, 32-year-old insurance salesman Neal E Boyd showed that he’s one of the frontrunners of America’s Got Talent season 3. Here’s the video clip of him singing Nessun Dorma.

Earlier tonight on America’s Got Talent 3 Episode 1, Kaitlyn Maher, 4, turned out to be one of the bright spots of the night. Here’s the video of her performance of Somewhere Out There.

I didn’t see a lot of indication of it last year, but from what I hear, America’s Got Talent. It’s back again for season 3 with David Hasselhoff, Celebrity Apprentice winner Piers Morgan, Sharon Osbourne, and Jerry Springer.

This year’s winner will get $1 million and be able to perform on the Vegas strip. Last year’s winner, Terry Fator, apparently signed a $100 million deal there. I gotta give NBC points for hype here. Their heads may be bigger than the folks over at Idol.

52-year-old Bill Curlee was told in high school he was a great dancer. Yeah, it’s entirely possible he’s serious here, too. He does a Tom Jones impersonation. Piers and Hasselhoff buzz him right away. Why isn’t Sharon putting him out of his misery already? She is confused that it’s actually Elvis doing Tom Jones. Piers calls it the single worst tribute act ever. He gets three nos. Jerry Springer tells him to keep it up. No. Just… no.

Nick Afanasiev has the tongue of a cow. Not enough to win for some reason.

Ed Jacques plays the trumpet without a trumpet. It was enough to impress them last year when Butterscotch did it, but this year they admit it’s lame.

Jonathan Arons is a classically trained trombonist guy who plays a little bit of trombone inbetween some questionable dancing. At least he’s entertaining, though. Hasselhoff calls him barking mad, apparently a British saying meaning he’s good (if it wasn’t before, it is now). Sharon calls him naughty because he fooled them into thinking he was going to be boring. Piers found him quite entertaining, against his better judgment. He gets three yes votes.

Indigo, a Romanian singing duo, are in New York because if you can make it there, you can make it there. We really don’t need more than a couple notes here. Piers and Hasselhoff buzz them. Sharon’s the one responsible for dragging out the show. Hasselhoff compares them to Dracula. Sharon wants to give them a second chance. Huh? Piers tells them they’ve got everything going for them apart from their terrible voices. Despite that, he lets them through. What the bloody hell was that?

Tory and Damian (Nuttin But Stringz) are two brothers who play the violin. Done right, the violin has the potential to sound cool. They don’t disapoint. Hasselhoff says “Very different, very cool.” Piers calls them fresh, exciting, original, and talented. Sharon hopes they’ll be responsible for a lot of young kids going for violin lessons. All three judges say yes.

Mary Bly has been waiting for 80 years to perform in Vegas. She’s wearing a dress that’s a few inches shorter than it needs to be. Jerry’s afraid she’ll fall of the stage and/or have a heart attack. Piers and the Hoff buzz her. Sharon wants to keep watching. Hasselhoff calls her Shirley Temple who got lost in the woods. Sharon gives her a yes. At least this time Piers disagrees with her.

4-year-old Kaitlyn Maher loves to sing. Probably the most adorable thing we’ll see all season, but I fear what happened in Britain’s Got Talent repeating itself (a cute little girl got through to the finals and damn near won). The judges let her go to Vegas, where all the 4-year-olds hang out. (Video of Kaitlyn Maher’s performance.)

In the second hour, we’re leaving New York and heading to Chicago.

The Slippery Kittens, a group of moms (so we’re told), are burlesque dancers. Sharon asks to see what they got, which includes shaking stuff and showing their underpants. Their goal was to prove that burlesque is classy. They failed at that particular mission. Piers sees potential, whatever that means. They’re going to Vegas.

Jonathan Burkin tells a story about how he was picked on at school for what he’s about to do. He’s a baton twirler. He proceeds to toss around not one but three batons on fire. Hasselhoff says all the kids who called him names can shove it. He’s going to Vegas.

Chicago was short-lived. Next stop is Los Angeles.

Up first is Derrick Barry. He impersonates Britney Spears. Yeah, he’s a dude, apparently. The sad thing is he actually looks a lot better than Britney does nowadays. Hasselhoff calls him hot… but the wrong sex. Piers says he’s a lot like the real Britney Spears, a complete and utter trainwreck. Sharon and Hasselhoff say yes to Vegas.

Dallas Dance Company is a group of dance teachers that quickly gets buzzed. This leads up to a bad dancing montage, and LA’s not kind to dancers.

Perhaps power tap/clogging group Extreme Dance FX can change that. Piers buzzes them, but the crowd loves them. He says he buzzed the outfits mostly. Sharon liked their combination of dancing styles. Hasselhoff wants them to change the outfits as well, but he liked them otherwise. They go through to vegas.

Opera singer Neal E Boyd (whose nickname is “The Voice of Missouri”) hopes to prove to his mom that all of her sacrifices weren’t a waste. By the time he’s done, everybody is on their feet. Hasselhoff calls him the frontrunner. Sharon appreciates his warmth and spectacular voice. Piers says he’s a very special talent. He obviously gets through to the next round. (Video of Neal Boyd’s performance)

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another recap of America’s Got Talent 3 episode 2, which airs Tuesday at 9/8c on NBC.