Author: Shane

American Idol Season 12 Episode 6 was an insult to the intelligence of the audience and humanity in general. As bad as this show can be, I do not remember any episode being this bad before. If the Oklahoma auditions were really that bad, just don’t show them, or truncate them and put them together with something else. The good news is that at least they are done wasting time, and Hollywood week begins.

This year, Hollywood week is divided by gender. Tonight we start with the guys.

Micah Johnson, who has a speech impediment following his tonsils being removed, is advancing to the next round. Nate Tao, Gabe Brown, and Gurpreet Singh Sarin are as well.

Karl Skinner advanced because the judges had nobody else to put through in Oklahoma City, but he will not be going any further. Dustin Watts and Dr. Calvin Peters have also been cut.

Cortez Shaw’s annoying rendition of I Will Always Love You fails to annoy anyone other than Nicki. Curtis Finch Jr. and Frankie Ford advance to the next round with him.

Lazaro Arbos still has a better story than a voice, but he will be advancing. Trevor Blakeley, a tired Bryant Tadeo, and Charles Allen will, too.

Brian Rittenberry is in the last lineup of the day, and the good news stops with him. He and half the guys have been cut already.

Now on to group night, where we can start manufacturing some drama. Speaking of which, the contestants, who have already spent the day forming their own groups, will not have that luxury. For the first time, the producers will determine who is in which group, deliberately picking groups they know will clash.

Nick Boddington, Mathenee Treco, Matheus Fernandes, and Gabe Brown are in one of the few groups that actually got along. Their lack of drama shows through in their performance of Somebody to Love, and all four move to tomorrow’s solo round.

Johnny Keyser picked a song with lyrics he wasn’t really comfortable with, and after a “nightless sleep,” he still doesn’t know them. Kareem Clark seems to know the words, but he’s terrible. He is the only one of their group to be cut.

Charlie Askew is not feeling well for a few hours. He has one supportive team member at least. Curtis Finch, Jr., however, offers to pack his bags. I guess he’s trying to be funny, but it comes off unlikeable. In any event, all three advance.

Micah Johnson, Vincent Powell, Marvin Calderon, and David Willis are all going through. Zach Birnbaum, Nate Tao, Cortez Shaw, and Elijah Liu are, too.

Paul Jolly and Will White are in a group in which nobody knows the words, but they are the two who advance regardless.

Nicki doesn’t care that the next group consisting of The Turbanator and some other guys is terrible. They are still her favorite of the day because they brought their terribleness to the audience, like she does at her shows.

Jason Jones, Dan Wood, Jessie Lawrence, and some other guy try to do One Direction… and fail miserably. They are all eliminated.

Devan Jones and Devin Velez are in the only group of the night to sing a cappella. They advance along with somebody named Adrian.

Tony Foster Jr. and Burnell Taylor advance, but Darien Moses and Mario Jose are cut.

Lazaro has never heard of the Beach Boys, but he sings one of their songs along with Josh Stephens, Scott Flenor, and Christian Lopez. Their decent but somewhat rough performance results in the elimination of Josh and Scott.

Lee Pritchard, JDA (really?), Joel Wayman, and Trevor Blakney are in Country Queen, a group that’s half country and half queens. The country half of the group, Trevor and Lee, is out.

David Leathers (the final elimination last year), Kayden Stephenson, Kevin Quinn, and Sanni M’Mairura are the youngest guys remaining. David and Sanni have made it.

The group with the most bickering, who continue to argue as they’re walking on stage since Frankie still won’t shut up, get the final spot of the night. Papa Peachez, Adam Sanders, Frankie Ford, and Charles Allen participate in a train wreck, but the three other than Frankie continue. His group tries to offer some words, but he doesn’t want to hear from any of them as we close out the night with a meltdown.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of American Idol Season 12 Episode 8, which airs Thursday at 8/7c on Fox.

Tonight is the final round of the often painful audition process. 1 hour seems to work better, though, as there was a surprising amount of competent performers last week with less not funny filler that Nigel is convinced is hilarious. The auditions conclude in Oklahoma City.

Karl Skinner is a character, who starts off with the first ridiculous audition of the night, though in the end he actually does turn out to have a decent voice.

Both of Nate Tao’s parents are deaf, which means they have no idea whether he sucks. He doesn’t need to worry about that, though, since he continues the reasonably decent singing.

A puppet. Great. What show am I watching again? Halie Hilburn performs a duet with Oscar, a yodeling talking dog. Disregarding the puppet, she has a good voice.

Next we get a commerical break. Then an idiot butchering the national anthem. I fast forwarded this nonsense after pausing to do something else because it was too stupid to justify watching, but apparently she made it through to Hollywood despite being horrible. Then another commecial break. This all adds up to 15 straight minutes dedicated to stupidity and commercials. What was it I was saying about 1 hour shows working? So can we get some good singing now? Nope, next up, a crying montage.

So now we’re at 17 minutes since puppet lady, and Anastacia Freeman is up, also crying. And she sucks, despite God telling her that she should audition. Now another commercial break.

What the bloody hell is up with this stupid show? This has to be the worst episode ever.

Kayden Stephenson has cystic fibrosis, which means his life expectancy is 35 years. He has an inspiring story, though his voice is merely adequate.

We finish the night with about what can be expected from a night like this. Steven Tyler dressed as a woman. Anyone who DVRed this show may as well just delete it. Even the good acts topped out at decent, while most of the show was just a great big waste of time, even by American Idol standards.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of American Idol Season 12 Episode 7, which airs Wednesday at 8/7c on Fox.

In between the judges having the lamest non-feud ever in American Idol Season 12 Episode 3, we saw Jimmy Smith, Janelle Arthur, Candice Glover, and Seretha Guinn in Chicago. Tonight the auditions continue in Baton Rouge.

Megan Miller is the current Miss Baton Rouge, which I assume is a real thing. 3 days ago, she was in an accident, and she’s having surgery right after the audition. She could just wait a year or until the next of 1200 singing competitions rolls into town, but this gives her a story that people are going to remember. Beyond that, she has a great voice.

Charlie Askew is socially awkward. His doctor says he has Charlie Askew syndrome, so pretty much just something made up. Music is his outlet, and he turns out to have a powerful voice.

Maddie Assel has been nominated by her grandmother. She mentions that one of her inspirations is Haley Reinhart, so I suspect we’ll hear growling, but anyway she, too, has a strong voice in what’s turning out to be a decent night so far.

Obviously, that won’t last. Now we get to see the bad, ridiculous, and just not funny.

Following a lame montage, Paul Jolley tells us a story of his recently deceased grandfather. He sings I Won’t Let Go by Rascal Flatts, and he’s easily through to Hollywood.

When he performs, Christopher Barthel has an alterego, one without a name. Or any talent.

Dr. Calvin Peters just started singing again now that he’s done with college. He sings Whenever, Wherever, Whatever by Maxwell, and he’s a good singing doctor.

Michelle Montezeri, Breanna Steer, and Brandy Hotard will also be going to Hollywood.

Firefighter Dustin Watts sings She’s Every Woman by Garth Brooks. The judges appreciate his job and his voice.

Burnell Taylor grew up in a musical house. He’s been singing forever but realized he really can sing after Katrina. His performance receives a standing ovation.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of American Idol Season 12 Episode 5, which airs Wednesday at 8/7c on Fox.

Chicago brought us Mackenzie Wasner, Brandy Neelly, and concluded with Lazaro Arbos’ sad story about stuttering in American Idol Season 12 Episode 2. Tonight the auditions continue in Charlotte.

We start off at the top of the show with talk about production shutting down in 6 hours due to (manufactured) drama.

Naomi Morris wants the judges to remember her for something other than her breasts. Not likely. Why do they give people like this the chance to sing more than once, yet refuse to offer moderately competent singers that same opportunity?

Joel Nemoyer can lie on the ground and sing with high clarity. This should be stupid.

Brian Rittenberry’s wife recently recovered from cancer. He sings Let It Be and receives praise from the judges.

Jimmy Smith says Keith Urban was his influence. He sings God Bless the Broken Road. Very good country singer.

Sarina-Joi Crowe, Haley Davis, and Na’chelle Fullins-Lovell advance to Hollywood, with the latter one making a special attempt to break glass.

Matthew Muse mostly sings karaoke. Get off my TV.

Isabel Gonzalez has been nominated by her aunt. The judges are thoroughly impressed. I like her a lot more than the last bus tour contestant.

Taisha Bethea is the lead singer in a band. She tells us she’s a rocker, but then she sings a Johnny Cash song. The judges are on the fence. Mariah and Randy say no, but deciding judge (based on location apparently) Keith lets her through to Hollywood.

Summer Cunningham jumps right into singing Lean on Me without much build up to it. That leads us to a little drama when she says she wants to sing soulful country rather than just country. The other three judges let it go fairly quickly and vote yes, but then we get to Nicki. And bickering ensues, followed by Nicki walking off stage. Where did that come from? This is what we kept hearing about before the season started and the media was hyping a rivalry between Mariah and Nicki.

After we see every talk show discussing this non-confrontation, day 2 begins. Brandy Alexandria Hamilton got in trouble for singing too much as a Navy reservist. She does enough to move forward, and she asks the judges not to fight because it makes her sad.

Ashley Smith wanders around the waiting room annoying everybody. Surprisingly, her singing of Cowboy Casanova does not continue the annoyance.

Nicki can’t remember people unless she gives them a stupid nickname.

Janelle Arthur has been singing since she was cast in a production at a theme park in the role of Dolly Parton at age 8. That may be where she got her start, but it looks like she’s going to keep going following this audition.

Rodney Barber sings on the street and refers to himself as the voice of Charlotte. He was homeless and thanks people for helping him get past it, so he hopes to pay it forward. His big voice impresses the judges, who are inspired by his story.

Candice Glover was cut in Vegas last year. She says she’s learned who she wants to be as an artist, and she tells us people compare her to Joshua Ledet, the person who received the most ridiculously over the top compliments in the history of the show. She’ll be heading back to Hollywood.

Ja’bria Barber wants to invite the judges to eat some frog legs. They won’t be taking her up on that, but they like her voice and personality.

Brad Harris used to break chairs with his head in school. He doesn’t think it did any permanent damage. I’m not convinced. The judges decline to give him a ticket or a handshake.

Seretha Guinn has dealt for the last year with her boyfriend’s serious accident, and she hopes to return to him with a surprise that will lift his spirits. She sings The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. What? But it works like a charm.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of American Idol Season 12 Episode 4, which airs Thursday at 8/7c on Fox.