America’s Got Talent Season 5 Episode 1

Chicken catcher Kevin Skinner was the America’s Got Talent Season 4 winner. America’s Got Talent is back again, and this time Howie Mandel has taken over for David Hasselhoff (good trade). He’s been judging the show at home in his underpants since the beginning, so he’s got plenty of experience.

The search begins in Los Angeles. It is open to anyone, any age, any talent.

Future Funk consists of two dancers ages 5 and 9. Howie calls them adorable, funny, talented, and wow. Piers says they’re very good dancers for their age, and he likes their haircuts.

Housekeeper Ranses Valentt moved to America in hopes of making his dream a reality. After he accidentally gets buzzed by Howie, he sings, or at least that’s what he calls it. This time Howie buzzes him on purpose. Nick apologizes for causing people’s dogs to go crazy. Sharon and Piers buzz. Then Howie buzzes again.

Timur & The Dime Museum do Vaudeville operatic fantasy. Whatever that is, it’s pretty freaky. They’re showing the modern state of the economy, which needless to say is pretty bad.

Lui Attanassi fuses the 60s, 70s, and 2000s with a little bit of Latin flavor. Howie would hire them for a party as a comical dance group.

The Chainsaw Chicks make an effort to saw through ice. They fail. Kicking it works better.

SwingShift Side Show are circus freaks. Nick begs them to not do anything that’s going to make him have nightmares. He doesn’t know what they’re doing, but he asks that nobody does it at home. The act begins with staples on breasts. Then fire. Then a drill going through the guy’s nose. Glass biting. Needles. Swallowing swords. Piers enjoys being disgusted. Sharon has seen it all before, but the other two vote yes.

Ade (aka Nugget) is a dancer with a suitcase. Inside the suitcase is another dancer, and together they are Ring Masters. They rip off their shirts and we see more double jointedness than anybody cares to see. Howie’s happy to see something unique. Piers says they’re good dancers who went wrong when they started the bendy freak show stuff. Two votes is enough.

Haspop is in America for dance. I’m a little confused but entertained nonetheless. Piers has never seen anything like that. Howie tells him he deserves to do this indoors and not just in the streets.

Maricar, the first act of the next day, has skin tight leather and a whip. It really doesn’t matter what she does, which she proves with her painting that gets a standing ovation from Piers.

Shoe leather salesman Evan Berst has been dancing for six decades. Still needs more practice.

Voice teacher Hannibal Means is already creeping me out even before he begins. Nonetheless, he’s a pretty good singer. Until he goes ridiculously over the top, which causes Piers to buzz him. Once again, two votes is all it takes.

Ronith is an impersonator who left India because he sucked too much at this there. It’s a good thing he tells us who he’s doing impressions of because otherwise nobody would know. Piers gives him a no, but somehow he gets two votes anyway.

New Directions helps homeless veterans get back on their feet, and its choir is here to sing, spread the word, and inspire. They get a standing ovation from everyone.

You never know what you’re gonna get with No Shade. They sing, rap, tumble, and dance, or at least that’s what they call it. Howie suggests they do what Milli Vanilli did.

Michael Grimm plays music at whatever place will take him. He wants to help his grandparents out so they don’t have to worry any more. It seemed as if he was overplaying the sympathy card, but ultimately he’s got the voice to back it up. He could go a long way.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of America’s Got Talent Season 5 Episode 2, which airs Wednesday at 9/8c on NBC.

Hell’s Kitchen Season 7 Episode 1

With one fully functioning arm throughout the season, Dave Levey beat Kevin Cottle for the win in season 6. A new group of contestants is ready to be yelled at by someone who may well not be playing for a full deck.

The 16 contestants making up the Hell’s Kitchen season 7 cast are:

Andrew Forster
Age : 28
Hometown : West Babylon, NY
Occupation : Farmer, Wake Forest, NY

Autumn Lewis
Age : 29
Hometown : Chicago, IL
Occupation : Personal Chef, North Hollywood, CA

Benjamin Knack
Age : 33
Hometown : Elmont, NY
Occupation : Culinary Instructor, Malden, MA

Ed Battaglia
Age : 28
Hometown : Burlington, NJ
Occupation : Teacher, Edgewater Park, NJ

Fran Klier
Age : 44
Hometown : Rockville Centre, NY
Occupation : Catering Chef

Holli Ugalde
Age : 24
Hometown : San Bernardino, CA
Occupation : Banquet Chef

Jamie Bisoulis
Age : 26
Hometown : Chicago, IL
Occupation : Sous Chef, Chicago, IL

Jason Ellis
Age : 37
Hometown : Greenville, SC
Occupation : Personal Chef, Suwanee, GA

Jay Santos
Age : 32
Hometown : Melrose, MA
Occupation : Executive Chef, Medford, MA

Maria Torrisi
Age : 24
Hometown : Scranton, PA
Occupation : Kitchen Supervisor

Mikey Termini
Age : 29
Hometown : Santa Cruz, CA
Occupation : Line Cook, Kihei, Maui, HI

Nilka Hendricks
Age : 28
Hometown : Glen Cove, NY
Occupation : Line Cook, West Hempstead, NY

Salvatore Coppola
Age : 35
Hometown : Monte Di Procide, Italy
Occupation : Pizzeria Chef, Laurel Springs, NJ

Scott Hawley
Age : 32
Hometown : Modesto, CA
Occupation : Executive Chef, New York, NY

Siobhan Allgood
Age : 25
Hometown : Rockledge, PA
Occupation : Pub Executive Chef, Philadelphia, PA

Stacey Slichta
Age : 38
Hometown : Buffalo, NY
Occupation : Private Chef, Studio City, CA

Chef Ramsay opens the show by promising that they will complete the opening service. Good luck, dude.

They are given 45 minutes to create their signature dishes.

Stacey cooks for celebrities. Holli plays cute/ditzy.

One of the women is a cookbook author… she’s never actually cooked before. Despite that, her dish is delicious. Ramsay hugs her and tells her to relax. Then he kisses her and his tongue gets stuck in her mouth. Well, they’re pretty well being Punk’d. It’s really his wife.

Salvatore and Maria square off. Maria’s dish is cooked perfectly. Salvatore’s dish is undercooked, and his pasta is not from scratch, despite the fact that he says he’s from Italy.
1-0 women.

Holli and Benjamin are next. Benjamin’s fresh pasta is delicious. Holli’s dish is spit out.
1-1 tie.

Scott and Jamie go next. Please don’t eat Jamie’s toothpick that she lost in the dish… he’s not even going to taste it. Scott’s food is rather pathetic.
1-1 tie still.

Mikey and Siobhan are next. What’s with the mohawk and tattoos (including one that’s of the show’s logo)? Mikey’s messy looking dish tastes delicious. Siobhan’s tuna and mint is brave but works.
2-2 tie.

Stacey and Jay go next, and Jay scores the point.
3-2 men.

Fran and Jason are next, with Jason scoring the point.
4-2 men.

Ed and Autumn are next, as Autumn closes the gap.
4-3 men.

Nilka and Andrew are the last duo. Andrew has raised and butchered his own animals and likes to eat them raw. A little creepy. Bland food. Nilka has drenched her wings in half a bottle of tobasco. Nobody scores.
Men win 4-3.

The winner of this year’s show will become the head chef at Savoy Hotel in London, England.

Chef Ramsay has made a series of video lessons to show them how to cook dishes. The first lesson is lobster risotto (shocker). Throughout the night, the alarms keep ringing and ringing and ringing, each one bringing a new lesson. This is like something you’d see on Big Brother.

The women have received their punishment: cooking breakfast in bed for the guys while they continue to sleep.

Scott is emerging as the leader of the men, or at least the strongest talker.

Stacey’s on the fish station. First, she forgets the seasoning. Then she puts too much. To make matters worse, her scallops are raw.

Salvatore is burning everything. He’ll switch over to salad. Can’t burn that.

Fran’s potatoes are under/over/incorrectly cooked. Then she zones out and fails to respond to Ramsay. Also, she’s afraid of the grease.

Benjamin is asked to taste the food. He does so. Rather than tossing his spoon in the water, he tastes the food and then puts his spoon right back in it.

Back to Fran. Crab in the lobster risotto.

Jamie’s first entree is cold. Maria finds this all quite funny. After that, Maria, Jamie, and Fran are thrown out of the kitchen. Nilka is pulled back into the kitchen. As Fran flips out, Maria continues to have uncontrollable laughter.

With Ramsay yelling for the halibut, Scott says it’s good to go. Mikey thinks it needs a minute. It does. Scott then tells him to make sure it’s cooked next time.

Benjamin is cooking the risotto without rice. That’s not gonna work. Eventually, he and Salvatore are kicked out.

Stacey hasn’t been on the line for a really long time. She’s not sure how long her food is going to take. That said, she can take a hike, too.

Mikey’s next attempt at halibut is also raw. He can join the others in the dorm.

Seeing as he’s thrown half the people out, those who remain can now join together to complete the service. Ed takes the leadership role of the combined teams.

Those who remain manage to complete the first dinner service, a show first. Ramsay’s still not ready to celebrate, and he will still decide on a losing team. The women have lost because they sucked, and they must come to a consensus on which two should be put up for elimination.

Nilka suggests Maria. Autumn would nominate Fran and Stacey. Fran says that Autumn just stood there watching everybody.

The first nominee is Stacey; the second nominee is Fran.

Fran should stay because she’s not the worst. Stacey admits she’s a screw up, but she has nowhere to go but up.

The person leaving Hell’s Kitchen is Stacey. Was she really the worst?

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of Hell’s Kitchen Season 7 Episode 2, which airs Tuesday at 8/7c on Fox.

The Bachelorette Season 6 Episode 2

Ali’s first 8 suitors were cut in The Bachelorette Season 6 Episode 1.

This week there will be one group date and two individual dates.

The first date card is for the individual date, which has been granted to the hyperactive Frank. They hop into a convertible. Ali has some silly things planned, and she thinks Frank’s the guy who can let loose and have fun. He’s got a beautiful girl and a great car. What could go wrong? For starters, the car breaks down, so they get a cab. The destination is Hollywood, a chance to mingle with the paparazzi. Once the publicity stunt is done, they go stumbling down the hill to the Hollywood sign, the place where they have their first kiss. His story about how he quit his job and left for Paris ended in about a month and a half before he changed his mind and moved back. I don’t know if that’s so much spontaneous as it is confused. That night, the car’s back up and running, without either of them giving it a single thought. At the end of the date, he receives a rose. Ali’s surprised by the chemistry. He has made her believe that everything she is looking for is possible. As if she didn’t already believe that before.

Back at the house, Justin’s still getting a hard time from the other guys. Taking the focus off him, Craig M picks a fight as usual.

Jonathan, Ty, Chris H, Kirk, Hunter, Tyler, Steve, Craig R, Chris N, Kasey, Justin, and Craig M will be going on the group date. Jonathan’s first thought is that he doesn’t want to have to go hang out with Craig M. They will be going to a beach house in Malibu. Justin will hobble along behind them in hopes of not tripping too many times in the sand. There’s a reason why there are 12 guys on this date: they will be shooting a calendar (primarily in speedos). As much as Jonathan doesn’t want to get into a skimpy outfit, he’s going to have to run with it and have as much fun as he can. Ty brings his guitar to the beach, so we know he’s not going anywhere any time soon. He springs the news of his divorce on her that night. Jonathan interrupts because he has one goal for the night, to let Ali know that Craig M is poison, insane, and probably going to be in a fight in the house eventually. When he gets back, Craig M gives him a hard time, which could be expected. Ty gets the rose. Memo to future The Bachelorette contestants: bring a guitar.

The last individual date goes to Jesse. That leaves Chris L, John C, and Roberto dateless. Jesse’s given a box with cufflinks but not told anything else beyond that. Sounds like it will be pretty fancy for a T-shirt kinda guy who just bought his first suit. They board a private jet to Vegas. Ali still hates flying, regardless of her desire to get together with a pilot 6 months ago. Waiting for them at the airport is a Ferrari, which they drive to a pool called Liquid, which has never before been used. After a swim, they get overdressed for dinner in a suite overlooking the city. Ali likes what she sees, although she’s still not so sure, but it’s enough to give him a rose. They finish the night dancing to Jamie Cullum, who Ali tells us is a singer-songwriter. According to Google, she is correct.

At the house, Craig M continues to harass Jonathan, who keeps playing nice despite hating his guts.

Like Ali, Chris L is from Massachusetts, so that should give them something in common to help him survive despite the fact that he didn’t get a date. Having received the first impression rose, it’s unlikely Roberto is in any danger, whatever may happen (which turns out to be him teaching her how to throw a baseball).

After Kasey gets about 30 seconds alone with Ali, Frank, who already has a rose, pulls her away so he can kiss her with a group of the other guys standing there watching. At least Kasey had the opportunity to tell her he’s going to guard her heart, again.

While Craig M is talking to Ali, the other guys talk about how they don’t think he’s there for Ali, and for that matter they don’t actually know why he’s there and calling in sick from work every day. The vibe she’s getting from him is that he’s uncomfortable around her. By the way, someone in the house called him dangerous, which she had told the weatherman would not go any further, but Craig M should be able to connect the dots.

Everybody is pulled into one room by Craig M. So who called him dangerous? Perhaps the weatherman has some light to shed on the subject, but he does not want to talk about any of his conversations with Ali. Jonathan will just tell him that he doesn’t like him. Based on this discussion, Craig M has decided that Weatherman (if that is his real name) is the guilty party.

Roses
Frank (one-on-one date)
Ty (group date)
Jesse (one-on-one date)
Kasey
Hunter
Roberto
Chris L
Justin
Steve
Kirk
John C
Craig R
Chris N
Jonathan (receiving thanks for having Ali’s back)

Craig M, Tyler, and Chris H have been eliminated. Tyler is disappointed because he took his nervousness talking to her as a sign that he was into her, although it may have held him back as well. Craig M has lost the battle with the weatherman, but that hasn’t harmed his ego any. And apparently there was a third guy who left (one of the guys named Chris), although we didn’t see it.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of The Bachelorette Season 6 Episode 3, which airs Monday at 8/7c on ABC.

So You Think You Can Dance Season 7 Episode 1

Season 7 auditions begin in New York.

Nigel Lythgoe is joined by Adam Shankman and Mia Michaels. Mary Murphy will be returning this season only as a choreographer and guest judge, while Mia Michaels is her replacement, despite having seemingly quit in season 6.

Sarah Brinson has always been the big dancer, but she says she doesn’t feel self conscious any more. Nigel thought that was amazing. Mia tells her she’s beyond her years, which is very rare. She’s going to Vegas.

Ballroom dancers Giselle Peacock and Henry Byalikov have danced for Burn the Floor. Where do you go from Broadway? So You Think You Can Dance. Smoking. Both get tickets to Vegas.

Mike Perlman got tired of getting kicked out of bars and clubs based on the way he dances. A very small percentage of people despise and loathe what he does. Like the Boston Police Department. For the record, that was not choreographed by Adam Shankman, whoever that is. He’s going to go out right now to get people to remember 1 2 3 Party!… but he won’t be doing so in Vegas.

We get an ever so brief glimpse of the woman lifting her husband that we saw in America’s Got Talent last year. These are judges are unimpressed.

Teddy Tedholm made it to Vegas last season. This year he’s back with a less outrageous outfit. Mia’s reminded of the unpopular kid who just didn’t quite fit, but his emotion is genius. Adam is honored to be able to watch that.

Scott Vogel loves his job cleaning up the stains and so forth following violent deaths. He calls it a biohazard something something something I think. Even after it’s replayed, it’s still entirely unclear. He’s going to have to stick with that rather than country line dancing. Oh, and after he cleans up the bodily fluids, he sells cereal bars.

Kevin “Shockalock” Porter brings his student Chris “Isolock” Dixon, who combines isolations with locking. Nigel’s seen better isolations but not with the locking. The question is what else he can do.

Courtney Galiano from season 4 and Jason Glover from season 5 will be taking the dancers through choreography.

Isolock easily gets the axe after this.

Jamie Greco makes low budget horror films. Depending on the day, he may be a she. This whole female impersonator stripping with fruit routine is just weird. Nigel reaches for the hand sanitizer.

Wadi Jones trains in Parkour (the free running in Prince of Persia). He will be advancing to choreography.

Edward Spots is returning for a second season. Now his dad supports his dancing. After they gush over him, the judges make him go to choreography. Why?

Megan Carter is the final dancer in New York. She’s “thicker” than other dancers. Her performance has Adam and Mia crying. Mia claims that size doesn’t matter, but Nigel is a realist. She will also be advancing to choreography.

Both Wadi and Megan have been cut. Edward, however, is going to Vegas.

Next we’re going to Miami. Bienvenidos a Miami. Jason Gilkison and Sonya Tayeh join Nigel there.

Michael Petr started ballroom dancing after seeing Dirty Dancing. Nigel’s happy to see someone not making (too many) weird facial expressions. He’ll be going to Vegas.

Tyrell Rolle is from the hood, Liberty City, not to be confused with the place from Grand Theft Auto. Contrary to the stereotypes, he’s a contemporary dancer, hoping to use dancing as an exit. Nigel found that to be tremendous. Sonya and Jason also loved it.

Henry Rivera has one first task: composing himself so that he can finish a complete sentence in the interview. But his dancing leaves those worries behind. The judges all agree he’s the best dancer so far in Miami.

Daria Kopylova dances with her dad. Doing a somewhat sexy number with her father creeps the judges out. Next time don’t bring a relative.

Ami Aguiar-Riley has a 6 year old son Donovan. She may be older, but she’s ready to do something for herself. Nigel thinks it was too static, although the technique is nice. After choreography, she’s going to Vegas.

Candace Craig hopes to be sexy, but hopefully not too much that they put a censor over her (this lasts until she swears). Jason thinks she’s a very likeable performer, although she doesn’t make clever choices. The over the top sensualness is a distraction. She’ll be wearing a sports bra for the choreography.

Rose Neptune has an awkward performance, and the partner she’s chosen is not helping matters any. The rest of the day in Miami gets progressively worse.

Jose Ruiz is a B-Boy inspired by Legacy to be on the show. The judges are impressed and relieved that Miami has stopped sucking with the final dancer of the night. He’ll have to get through choreography.

Candace is out. Despite not quite having it, Jose does go to Vegas.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of So You Think You Can Dance Season 7 Episode 2, which airs Wednesday at 8/7c on Fox.

The Bachelorette Season 6 Episode 1

Ali Fedotowsky, the chick who bailed on Jake to go back to work for Facebook, is back again, this time choosing between 25 of her own suitors. At least she quit her job so that they won’t be calling her in three weeks. She’ll probably make more money doing this show than working anyway. ABC will take good care of her, no matter how many times we hear how she “gave up everything.”

The cast of 25 guys vying for her attention are:

Chris H.
Age: 27
Occupation: Real Estate Developer
Hometown: Campbell River, Canada
Resides in: Vancouver, Canada

Chris L.
Age: 33
Occupation: Landscaper
Hometown: Dennis, MA
Resides in: Cape Cod, MA

Chris N.
Age: 29
Occupation: Entrepreneur
Hometown: Winter Park, FL
Resides in: Orlando, FL

Craig M.
Age: 34
Occupation: Dental Sales
Hometown: Sarnia, Canada
Resides in: Toronto, Canada

Craig R.
Age: 27
Occupation: Lawyer
Hometown: Langhorne, PA
Resides in: Philadelphia, PA

Derek
Age: 28
Occupation: Sales Manager
Hometown: Warren, MI
Resides in: Los Angeles, CA

Derrick
Age: 27
Occupation: Construction Engineer
Hometown: Manhattan Beach, CA
Resides in: San Diego, CA

Frank
Age: 31
Occupation: Retail Manager
Hometown: Bartlett, IL
Resides in: Geneva, IL

Hunter
Age: 28
Occupation: Internet Account Executive
Hometown: Fair Oaks Ranch, TX
Resides in: San Antonio, TX

Jason
Age: 27
Occupation: Construction Consultant
Hometown: Johnson City, TN
Resides in: Broomfield, CO

Jay
Age: 29
Occupation: Lawyer
Hometown: Barrington, RI
Resides in: Barrington, RI

Jesse
Age: 24
Occupation: General Contractor
Hometown: Peculiar, MO
Resides in: Kansas City, MO

John C.
Age: 32
Occupation: Hotel Business Development
Hometown: Mukilteo, WA
Resides in: Issaquah, WA

John N.
Age: 27
Occupation: Engineering Software Sales
Hometown: Wichita, KS
Resides in: Kansas City, MO

Jonathan
Age: 30
Occupation: Weatherman
Hometown: Boston, MA
Resides in: Houston, TX

Justin
Age: 26
Occupation: Entertainment Wrestler
Hometown: Toronto, Canada
Resides in: Toronto, Canada

Kasey
Age: 27
Occupation: Advertising Account Executive
Hometown: Fresno, CA
Resides in: San Luis Obispo, CA

Kirk
Age: 27
Occupation: Sales Consultant
Hometown: Green Bay, WI
Resides in: Madison, WI

Kyle
Age: 26
Occupation: Outdoorsman
Hometown: Highlands Ranch, CO
Resides in: Highlands Ranch, CO

Phil
Age: 30
Occupation: Investment Manager
Hometown: Elmore, OH
Resides in: Chicago, IL

Roberto
Age: 26
Occupation: Insurance Agent
Hometown: Tampa, FL
Resides in: Charleston, SC

Steve
Age: 28
Occupation: Sales Representative
Hometown: Chesterland, OH
Resides in: Cleveland, OH

Ty
Age: 31
Occupation: Medical Sales
Hometown: Booneville, MS
Resides in: Franklin, TN

Tyler M.
Age: 25
Occupation: Catering Manager
Hometown: Helena, MT
Resides in: Austin, TX

Tyler V.
Age: 25
Occupation: Online Advertising
Hometown: Chelsea, VT
Resides in: Milford, CT

I count 3 people named Chris, 2 Jays (and no doubt at least one of the other J people goes by the nickname Jay, too), 3 Tys, 2 Craigs, 1 Derek and 1 Derrick, and 3 Johns. That’s 15 people of the 25 bachelors. ABC, do us a favor next season. Make an effort to find people in the cast who don’t have the same damn name as someone else. It’s hard enough to keep track of who’s who.

Frank moved back in with his parents (now at age 31) so he can pursue his dream of becoming a screenwriter. Jay works in his family law practice. The family that sues together stays together. Kyle’s profession is outdoorsman, whatever that means. He lives in the middle of nowhere with no women around for miles. Yeah, there’s probably a reason for that. Justin is Mr. Rated-R. Oh, that can’t be a real wrestler name. Phil has put work on the backburner, having lost his 22 year old brother recently. Jonathan is a humorous weatherman. Ty got divorced a few months ago. Chris L moved back from teaching in NYC to Cape Cod so that he could spend his mother’s last year with her.

They thank Jake for screwing up, but it’s not as if he really should have begged someone who kinda sorta maybe thought she might possibly want to be with him rather than going back to work.

Jesse is from Peculiar. Ty seems to win Ali over with some southern hospitality. Frank jumps out through the roof of the limo. Wrestler Justin has a broken ankle. Chris N is the first one to give out a rose. Kasey offers to always be there to protect and guard her heart, regardless of what happens. Kyle hopes to reel her in, like an ice fish. Roberto hopes to get in some salsa dancing later. Craig M is so happy she’s not Vienna. John C gets down on one knee to give her a genuine cubic zirconia ring. Jonathan has brought an old school weather magnet, so it will always be sunny wherever she goes. Craig R is also giving a rose, making one for her out of paper. Tyler M noticed Ali wearing cowboy boots on her season, so he has decided to wear them as well. Uh, she didn’t have cowboy boots. Hunter didn’t know the limo ride was going to be this long. The restroom is around the corner to the right. Derek has brought some leaves so that Ali can catch one and make a wish. Derrick’s nickname is Shooter. At least then maybe we won’t get him confused with Derek. Jason is another one to walk on top of the car, so that he can do a backflip off it.

Frank’s the first person to steal Ali away to get some alone time. He talks about how he’s a risk taker, having moved to Paris for a while to try to be a writer.

Kirk has made a scrapbook for Ali. He even uses the word macrame. The other guys can make fun of him all they want.

Kasey’s parents got divorced when he was 12 because his dad was a cheater, which made him promise he’d never treat a woman like that.

Hunter plays a ukulele. No chance he’s here trying to get a record contract, but he’s just going to have some fun with it, even if he makes an ass out of himself. Jason is quickly jealous of him.

Derrick (aka Shooter) tells about how he got his nickname. He prematurely in college accidentally… he hopes she thinks this story is funny and not weird. Probably both.

Ali joins Jonathan and Craig M. The weatherman doesn’t let Craig get a word in.

Roberto gets the chance he hoped for to do some dancing.

Chris L is living with his dad right now. When asked if his parents are still together, he says yes, not getting into the fact that his mother has passed away. He’s a mama’s boy who wouldn’t think about treating a woman badly.

Kyle gives Ali a good luck fishing hook. While Jay’s sitting there with them, he’s pretty sure he just blew it and is not expecting a rose.

Justin reveals his alternate identity. Rated-R. The Craigs jump on him. Craig M makes fun of fake wrestling. Craig R thinks he’s there to further his career.

After this, Craig R goes to warn Ali some people may not be there for the right reasons. He gives her a little yellow shoe. He’ll keep the other one, hoping they can pair them up at some point. Looks like someone saw the movie Alive.

Chris (Harrison, this season’s fourth Chris) tells the guys to vote for someone they think is not there for the right reason. The weatherman and the wrestler are easy targets. Frank’s craziness is drawing some attention. Craig M’s negativity is also proving to be a cause for drama.

Jesse bought his first suit to look presentable. Since he’s a creative guy, he made a heart with a jigsaw.

Ali has decided to give the first impression rose to someone who she feels she could end up with. The person with the luck of the draw is Roberto following his hot sauce dance.

What’s in the box? One guy received an overwhelming amount of votes. That guy would be Justin. Will she get rid of him right away, or will she give him a rose for a chance to prove himself? After they talk, Ali has decided to keep him. Congrats to the guys who gave him a pass. Seems like the right choice to me. I see the reason for the skepticism, but night one is hardly the time to be jumping to conclusions about whether somebody’s not there for the right reasons. Unless they bring their guitar and sing a country music song because they’ve got an album coming out that they hope will be #1 in Chihuahua, Mexico. And even then, they should probably still get one episode.

Roses
Roberto (first impression)
Justin (we hate you and want you to go away)
Jesse
Ty
Craig R
Tyler V
Frank
Steve
Chris L
Kirk
John C
Chris N
Chris H
Hunter
Craig M
Jonathan
Kasey

Everybody named Chris survived, so the confusion is not totally removed, but the elimination of 8 guys (instead of the usual 10) has started the process of weeding people out. Derek, Derrick, Jason, Jay, John N, Kyle, Phil, and Tyler M have been eliminated. Kyle feels like a failure for the first time. Shooter’s gamble on national TV didn’t pay off. Jay would have sent himself home because he just didn’t bring it.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another recap of The Bachelorette Season 6 Episode 2, which airs Monday at 8/7c on ABC.

American Idol Season 9 Winner

Crystal Bowersox and Lee DeWyze performed for the final time in American Idol Season 9 Episode 42, and tonight one of them will be announced as the winner. After 2 hours (and 7 minutes) of filler.

Seacrest tells us that less than 2% separated the finalists coming into the vote last night. Gasp.

Tonight marks Simon’s last night on American Idol, and quite possibly the death of the show (despite the fact that it’s the #1 rated show on television). We’ll see him again in fall 2011 on The X Factor on Fox, which is basically just an American Idol ripoff with a couple twists. Let’s hope whoever replaces him doesn’t suck.

2+ hours in. Time to dim the lights. The winner of American Idol 2010 is Lee DeWyze. Well deserved. Now he gets to sing his U2 song that beats a Kara song but is still lacking.

American Idol will be back again for season 10 in midseason.

Paula Abdul’s Got to Dance

Somebody had to hire Paula Abdul eventually. Hopefully for less than $15 million a season.

CBS has signed Abdul for its upcoming reality series Got to Dance (working title). Yes, apparently we need another dance show. She will serve as the show’s executive producer/creative partner/mentor/coach/lead judge/advocate (hopefully I didn’t miss any made up slashes).

Paula Abdul commented, “I’ve spent the better part of my life teaching, mentoring, nurturing – working with so many talented people – and I consider myself truly blessed to be able to continue to do something that I hold so dear to my heart. I am thrilled to be creative partners with Reveille, Shine, and CBS and to present the best new dance talent to American audiences. Each and every week we’ll showcase the challenges and successes of a fantastic group of dancers, as they perform and compete – compelling stories, exciting competition and amazing dance performances are guaranteed.”

“Paula is the perfect fit for GOT TO DANCE… an accomplished dancer, choreographer and popular entertainment figure, she has a real appreciation for the talents our dancers will bring each week,” said Jennifer Bresnan, Executive Vice President, Alternative Programming, CBS Entertainment. “As a creative partner, her expertise will provide great insight and a nurturing, creative energy both behind the scenes and on camera.”

Big Brother 12 Schedule

CBS has unveiled a strangely unconfusing schedule for Big Brother 12. The 12th season will premiere on Thursday July 8.

That will kick off the rotation of the Sunday, Wednesday, Thursday (live eviction/HOH) schedule. The Wednesday schedule marks a departure from the typical Tuesday showing. Writers’ strike Big Brother 9 notwithstanding, this is the first time we’ve seen the show on Wednesday since 2003, and the first departure from the Sunday/Tuesday/Thursday schedule since Big Brother 5 and 6 wasted their time on Saturday night.

The good news is that the show’s schedule actually makes sense for the first time since All Stars. It’s on at 8/7c every show night. Weird.