I didn’t see a lot of indication of it last year, but from what I hear, America’s Got Talent. It’s back again for season 3 with David Hasselhoff, Celebrity Apprentice winner Piers Morgan, Sharon Osbourne, and Jerry Springer.
This year’s winner will get $1 million and be able to perform on the Vegas strip. Last year’s winner, Terry Fator, apparently signed a $100 million deal there. I gotta give NBC points for hype here. Their heads may be bigger than the folks over at Idol.
52-year-old Bill Curlee was told in high school he was a great dancer. Yeah, it’s entirely possible he’s serious here, too. He does a Tom Jones impersonation. Piers and Hasselhoff buzz him right away. Why isn’t Sharon putting him out of his misery already? She is confused that it’s actually Elvis doing Tom Jones. Piers calls it the single worst tribute act ever. He gets three nos. Jerry Springer tells him to keep it up. No. Just… no.
Nick Afanasiev has the tongue of a cow. Not enough to win for some reason.
Ed Jacques plays the trumpet without a trumpet. It was enough to impress them last year when Butterscotch did it, but this year they admit it’s lame.
Jonathan Arons is a classically trained trombonist guy who plays a little bit of trombone inbetween some questionable dancing. At least he’s entertaining, though. Hasselhoff calls him barking mad, apparently a British saying meaning he’s good (if it wasn’t before, it is now). Sharon calls him naughty because he fooled them into thinking he was going to be boring. Piers found him quite entertaining, against his better judgment. He gets three yes votes.
Indigo, a Romanian singing duo, are in New York because if you can make it there, you can make it there. We really don’t need more than a couple notes here. Piers and Hasselhoff buzz them. Sharon’s the one responsible for dragging out the show. Hasselhoff compares them to Dracula. Sharon wants to give them a second chance. Huh? Piers tells them they’ve got everything going for them apart from their terrible voices. Despite that, he lets them through. What the bloody hell was that?
Tory and Damian (Nuttin But Stringz) are two brothers who play the violin. Done right, the violin has the potential to sound cool. They don’t disapoint. Hasselhoff says “Very different, very cool.” Piers calls them fresh, exciting, original, and talented. Sharon hopes they’ll be responsible for a lot of young kids going for violin lessons. All three judges say yes.
Mary Bly has been waiting for 80 years to perform in Vegas. She’s wearing a dress that’s a few inches shorter than it needs to be. Jerry’s afraid she’ll fall of the stage and/or have a heart attack. Piers and the Hoff buzz her. Sharon wants to keep watching. Hasselhoff calls her Shirley Temple who got lost in the woods. Sharon gives her a yes. At least this time Piers disagrees with her.
4-year-old Kaitlyn Maher loves to sing. Probably the most adorable thing we’ll see all season, but I fear what happened in Britain’s Got Talent repeating itself (a cute little girl got through to the finals and damn near won). The judges let her go to Vegas, where all the 4-year-olds hang out. (Video of Kaitlyn Maher’s performance.)
In the second hour, we’re leaving New York and heading to Chicago.
The Slippery Kittens, a group of moms (so we’re told), are burlesque dancers. Sharon asks to see what they got, which includes shaking stuff and showing their underpants. Their goal was to prove that burlesque is classy. They failed at that particular mission. Piers sees potential, whatever that means. They’re going to Vegas.
Jonathan Burkin tells a story about how he was picked on at school for what he’s about to do. He’s a baton twirler. He proceeds to toss around not one but three batons on fire. Hasselhoff says all the kids who called him names can shove it. He’s going to Vegas.
Chicago was short-lived. Next stop is Los Angeles.
Up first is Derrick Barry. He impersonates Britney Spears. Yeah, he’s a dude, apparently. The sad thing is he actually looks a lot better than Britney does nowadays. Hasselhoff calls him hot… but the wrong sex. Piers says he’s a lot like the real Britney Spears, a complete and utter trainwreck. Sharon and Hasselhoff say yes to Vegas.
Dallas Dance Company is a group of dance teachers that quickly gets buzzed. This leads up to a bad dancing montage, and LA’s not kind to dancers.
Perhaps power tap/clogging group Extreme Dance FX can change that. Piers buzzes them, but the crowd loves them. He says he buzzed the outfits mostly. Sharon liked their combination of dancing styles. Hasselhoff wants them to change the outfits as well, but he liked them otherwise. They go through to vegas.
Opera singer Neal E Boyd (whose nickname is “The Voice of Missouri”) hopes to prove to his mom that all of her sacrifices weren’t a waste. By the time he’s done, everybody is on their feet. Hasselhoff calls him the frontrunner. Sharon appreciates his warmth and spectacular voice. Piers says he’s a very special talent. He obviously gets through to the next round. (Video of Neal Boyd’s performance)
Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another recap of America’s Got Talent 3 episode 2, which airs Tuesday at 9/8c on NBC.