Survivor: Philippines Episode 1

Lisa Whelchel (Blair Warner), baseball player Jeff Kent, and returning medically evacuated contestants Michael Skupin, Russell Swan, and Jonathan Penner round out the Survivor: Philippines cast of 18 contestants vying for the title of Sole Survivor. They will be split into three tribes as opposed to the usual two.

The premiere of Survivor gives us a welcome break from the standard two or three singing competitions that are on every night since every network has at least one. They’re going to keep driving that sub-genre into the ground until it dies, the sooner the better at this pace. Sorry, NBC and Fox, but I’ll be sticking to CBS for the night. I’ll watch Simon on DVR, though.

Jeff Kent is hoping people won’t recognize him. That’ll last two days, tops. Most people won’t know him, but somebody has to. As far as Lisa, I suspect she’ll last as long as the boat ride over before being recognized.

Zane’s the only newbie who is not famous that gets to speak before the theme song. He talks about his tattoo of Frankenstein, who gave someone a flower then strangled everybody.

They are already divided into three tribes before they even hit the beach.

Kalabaw (red): Carter, Dana, Jeff, Jonathan, Katie, Sarah
Matsing (blue): Angie, Denise, Malcolm, Roxanne, Russell, Zane
Tandang (yellow): Abi-Maria, Artis, Lisa, Michael, Peter, Robert

Roxanne discusses the most extreme thing she’s seen on this show, and she talks about Russell, who joins them now.

Michael immediately recognizes Lisa. That secret didn’t last very long. Her younger tribe members probably have never even heard of the show, though.

Red tribe gets off to a rocky start. Just getting into the water, their boat submerges. During this, Jeff hurts his leg, and they are left scrambling for the supplies they just gathered.

Unlike last time, Russell does not want to be a leader again. He wants some other idiot to accept that responsibility. Despite this, he’s the one giving orders.

Russell and Malcolm manage to get fire going within the first hour, which very rarely happens without man-made tools, let alone that quickly.

The injured Jeff is rallying the troops against Jonathan. They want to get rid of the veteran. Never actually happens, but good luck to you.

RC says she’s an executive assistant. She doesn’t want anyone to know she’s a banker. I don’t understand lying right off the bat about such silly things.

Abi, Pete, and RC already have an alliance in about five minutes, and they ask Mike to be their fourth.

Dawson knows who Jeff Kent is, which she believes is something she alone knows. She also guesses he’s probably made $30 million during his time in the majors. Unlike Jeff, Lisa’s been out of the spotlight for decades, and she says she lost all of her Facts of Life money in the 80s.

Zane fancies himself a people person, and he has an alliance with everybody on his tribe on day 1. Of course, he reveals this information, so everybody knows about his alliances.

Mike willingly takes on a leadership role and doesn’t try pretending otherwise. He’s already got blood dripping from his head, a cut on his foot, and blisters and cuts on his hands on the second day.

Jonathan goes off on his own to search for the idol, which is not lost on his tribe. His search in their bag of rice leads him to a clue. For all Jonathan’s searching, Russell just stumbles on his clue by accident as he’s cooking rice. Zane catches him both in his search and his lie.

At the immunity challenge, they are tied together in pairs. The first two tribes to win are immune. The winning tribe receives a complete fire making kit; the second place tribe receives flint. The first sets of pairs run and climb a rope ladder to retrieve paddles. The second sets of pairs led by Tandang will row a boat and dive for puzzle pieces. Matsing is right behind them, and Kalabaw is dead last after a slow run by Dana and Katie. Thanks to Jeff and Carter’s fast rowing, Kalabaw takes second place, but Tandang extends its lead. The final phase is to solve the puzzle. In a very close race that comes down to the last piece, Kalabaw overtakes Tandang to place first, while Tandang finishes second.

Matsing will be heading to tribal council. Russell’s overpowering of the first three days continued at the challenge. He barked out orders who was doing what and refused to listen.

Strangely, Zane throws himself on the chopping block. He says to go ahead and vote him out. But he doesn’t mean it. What kind of strategy is this? Adding insult to stupidity, he guarantees Malcolm 100% that Russell has the idol.

Zane compares Russell to an onion. The more layers you peel back, the more you cry.

Votes
Zane
Russell
Zane
Zane
Zane

With 4 votes, Zane has been voted off the island. He shot himself in the foot, but regardless the tribe is left weaker because they have a dysfunctional leader.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recape of Survivor: Philippines Episode 2, which airs Wednesday at 8/7c on CBS.

Leave a Reply