For better or worse (and usually more worse), CBS’ summer staple Big Brother is back for season 11. Julie “Chenbot” Chen returns as usual as host. 12 out of the 13 contestants of the Big Brother 11 cast have been revealed so far, with the “mystery houseguest” (dun dun dun) to be revealed tonight. I just hope it’s not really really lame.
Show of hands. How many people liked high school? Great, two. Well, this year’s twist is straight out of high school. It’s all about the cliques. Not a big fan of the forcing people to unite like this, although some of these cliques may well implode.
Ronnie, Laura, Russell, and Kevin enter first. Ronnie and Russell grab the same room, while Laura will be bunking with Kevin. Kevin already says he likes the geek Ronnie. Chima, Braden, Natalie, and Casey go next. Braden doesn’t have the words to describe what he’s feeling, presumably because his vocabulary is limited. Chima takes the room with Laura. Braden and Casey will be together. Jordan, Jeff, Michele, and Lydia may now enter. They’re stuck with the room the others passed up, the one that looks like a pool.
Russell’s going to have to learn to like Ronnie. Chima’s laugh is already getting to Casey. Michele doesn’t want anyone to know she’s got a Ph D. Yeah, you think you’re going to keep up that lie for three months? Natalie’s a recent high school graduate, or so she tells the house. Kevin would like to discuss her real age later because her lie’s already blown. Laura’s excessive fake boobs, which can only lead to severe back pain, make Kevin throw up a little in his mouth. The girls are all attracted to Jeff. At age 40, Casey’s the grandpa of the house this year. Certainly a very young cast. Michele’s a little worried about the big mixed martial arts guy Russell.
Julie reveals that the mystery houseguest is somebody we already know. Oh, I’m afraid. Just please don’t make it someone who sucks. Two strikes if it’s someone from season 6.
The house now learns they will be divided into four cliques: athletes, popular, brains, and off-beat. While they will play and be nominated as individuals, if a member of their clique becomes Head of Household, nobody in their group can be nominated for eviction. Not even if they hate that person. They’ll all find out later which clique they’re in.
After giving them some time to worry and wonder, Julie is now ready to reveal the cliques. They go out to the backyard to find their names.
Athletes: Natalie, Jeff, Russell
Off-Beat: Lydia, Kevin, Casey
Popular: Jordan, Laura, Braden
Brains: Michele, Ronnie, Chima
This spoils Natalie’s plan to pretend she’s not a tae kwan do champion. It also spoils Michele’s and Ronnie’s plans to pretend they are less smart than they are. Chima takes offense to being called a brain.
Now it’s time for the first HOH competition of the season. They are in the locker room, where they will have to step into underpants and grab on to their toilet seats. The competition is called the wedgie. The last person to let go of their toilet seat will give their clique a distinct advantage… but will not be Head of Household. In fact, no one in the yard will be HOH.
Instead, one of the mysterious 4 will be moving into the Big Brother house, and that person will be the first HOH. Who are they?
Michael “Cowboy” Ellis from Big Brother 5. For real?
Jessica Hughbanks from Big Brother 8. She was a good player, until she threw the game away.
Brian Hart from Big Brother 10. No opinion on this guy. He was first out.
Jessie Godderz from Big Brother 10. Oh geez. His ego’s even bigger than it was before.
Michael is offbeat, Jessie is an athlete, Brian is the brain, and Jessica is popular. Whichever clique wins the competition determines who goes into the house.
Back to the house for the competition. Michele is the first one to fall. Ronnie falls after her, leaving Chima as the last hope for the brains. Well, now that they’ve survived the wedgie. How about the super wedgie? Brian will give his 30 second super wedgie to the popular group, while Jessica and Michael will give theirs to the athletes, and Jessie targets the offbeats. The brains, who are almost out of it anyway in this competition that’s really not something anyone expects them to compete in, will get no super wedgie. Lydia drops. Jordan follows her. Kevin is next. That leaves Casey for the offbeats. Jeff drops. Time for another super wedgie. The athletes get three, while Jessie targets the brains. Popular and offbeat are safe this time. Chima is out, taking the brains and Brian’s chances with her. Yeah, he’s the first one out again. Casey drops, eliminating the offbeats and Cowboy. The athletes and popular crowd have two people left standing. Kevin’s worried this will be high school all over and he’ll be nominated. Natalie’s cockiness may be her undoing, and it worries her teammate Russell. Laura falls, leaving it up to Braden. She says she fell on purpose because she doesn’t want a target on her back. So she’d rather give up an extra player and safety for the week? It’s not as if she’d be making the nominations. Braden slips. The athletes win this physical challenge. Not an overly big surprise. Jessie gets a second chance, and he will start off as HOH.
Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of Big Brother 11 Episode 2, which airs Sunday at 8/7c on CBS.