Wow, it’s only 8:15am and I’m already handing out the Stupid Person Of The Day Award. That’s got to be some kind of record, but this guy is obviously very deserving of such a prestigious title.
A drunk chinese migrant worker (those are the best kind) decided to get a close look at the cuddly little panda bears and jump the fence into the panda bear enclosure. Well, as cute and cuddly as panda bears look, they’re really not all that friendly, and they’re pretty damn big. So naturally, big Mr. panda doesn’t take to friendly to his new alcohol saturated roomate and decides to take a big ole’ bite out of him. Naturally, in retaliation, the drunken fence jumper decided the best thing to do would be to bite the panda back!
Zhang Xinyan of central Henan had apparently drank for jugs (Jugs?) of beer at a near by restaraunt before heading for the Beijing Zoo, where “He felt a sudden urge to touch the panda with his hand.” The best part of this all, is that the panda was asleep! What do you think is going to happen if you jump into a wild animals cage and try to pet it while it’s sleeping? Maybe it’ll wake up and take a big ass bite out of you, just a guess though.
Oh man, it just keeps getting better. Apparently the panda got startled and bite Zhang Xinyan’s leg and, of course, he wasn’t having none of that and started to kick the panda with his other leg, in turn, the panda swung around and bit his other leg, lol!
“No one ever said they would bite people,” Zhang said. “I just wanted to touch it. I was so dizzy from the beer. I don’t remember much.” Well, it happens to the best of us. Most of us just don’t decide to get up close and friendly with Pandas!
Ya Mingxia, a spokeswoman for Beijing Zoo said “We’re not considering punishing him now, he’s suffered quite a bit of shock.” Really? Ya think? Maybe next time he gets drunk and decides to get cuddly with an animal he’s choose something friendly, like a crocodile.
Any one stupid enough to jump over a cage and bite a panda bear like you crazy moron you deserved that hahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahahah.
p.s happy moron day stupid hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahah