Category: reality tv

Atlanta brought us one (and only one) glimpse of talent in America’s Got Talent Season 6 Episode 6, as Anna Graceman finally brought an end to two episodes of badness. Tonight the auditions head to New York.

Best friends Paul, Emily, Kara, and Mary Kate are a Broadway act called Triple threat. Sharon promptly buzzes. Howie follows suit. And then Piers, who like me was apparently hoping things would get better (they didn’t).

Joel “The Canon” Podelsky eats a pumpkin pie in under 90 seconds, which is good because he hates pumpkin pie. The Boston Typewriter Orchestra is, somehow, what it sounds like. Michael “The Parrot Wizard” brings out a parrot that he must drag around to make it do anything.

Snap Boogie is a dancer who performs on the streets of Boston to help his mom pay their bills. Piers was excited by this untrained style of dance, and Snap is easily through to the next round.

Magician Michael Turco keeps making scantily clad women appear from a box, and Howie suggests he open up a dating service.

Riley Schillaci is a “novice” sword swallower. This won’t end well. In between her shoving objects down her throat, Piers buzzes. For her grand finale, she has Nick pull a sword out of her… while she hula hoops. From this person who is unable to smile and may have discovered this talent in an effort to off herself, Howie does not sense the joy necessary to be a performer.

Steven Retchless has been dancing since he was 8. He tells us he’s going to show something we’ve never seen before. Indeed, I have never seen a man in high heels with skimpy silver underpants and silver body paint to match. For all his training in ballet, jazz, etc., he will be… pole dancing. I don’t think there’s a lack of retching going on, but regardless he is quite good at what he does. Women and gay/closeted guys will love him. That leaves Piers and Howie out, but Howie’s reluctantly willing to give it another go anyway.

Elew is a piano player with mutant super powers. Piano playing: good. Gimmick: lame.

Landau Eugene Murphy, Jr. is hoping you didn’t Tivo this because you’re not seeing him if you did. He’s an old school singer, which does not match how he looks at all. Sharon asks whether there was a tape player in the background. Tape player? Howie, who Landau loves and does a Bobby impersonation of, tells him he just changed his life.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of America’s Got Talent Season 6 Episode 8, which airs Tuesday at 8/7 on NBC.

A second night in Seattle in America’s Got Talent Season 6 Episode 5 brought us, well, really not anything worth talking about. Tonight we go back to Atlanta.

Hershae Chocolateae is clearly going to be a big waste of time just based on his/her name. Piers buzzes, but the other two are gluttons for punishment. Too bad this song about this being the last dance is not true.

Attack Dance Crew is… a dance crew. They dance a style called drilling to a Justin Bieber song that I didn’t see coming. Howie compares them to a cheerleading team, but the other two say yes.

I don’t know what the hell Joseph Ravens is supposed to be. After riding a stationary bike, he walks off the stage without being judged or saying a word, so I take it we won’t be finding out.

Then Robo Mike dances like a robot, not well, and Kevin Harlow Jasper does some North Carolina hollarin, which near as I can tell is just a bunch of noise making.

Captain Stamp and his wife Maybelle are a freak show. He shoves a coat hanger down his throat, causing Piers to buzz and then turn his back. The follow up is a beam from which two cinder blocks hang. Howie enjoyed that. Sharon declines. Making the final decision, in spite of his disgust, Piers lets them through.

Necessary Diva does not seem to be either necessary or a diva.

Armand and Angelina sing popera. Yeah, popera. They think singing together is like making love, and they can’t wait to make love to millions. Appropriately, they sing the song from Titanic. Howie thinks that was so ridiculous it was wonderful. Piers just thinks it was ridiculous. Sharon agrees to give them another shot, to the booing of the audience.

Okay, we’ve gone two episodes now without any real talent. Let’s hope Alaska’s Anna Graceman, an 11 year old singer and piano player, turns the tide. She sings if I Ain’t Got You by Alicia Keys, followed by a standing ovation.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of America’s Got Talent Season 6 Episode 7, which airs Wednesday at 8/7 on NBC.

Snowy Minneapolis didn’t have much to offer in the first 50 minutes of America’s Got Talent Season 6 Episode 4 before concluding with The Silhouettes and The Kinect King. Now we head back to Seattle.

On a side note, I figured out what happened to David Hasselhoff. After leaving this show for his own reality show, which got cancelled after two episodes, he got kicked out of the country but was lucky that Britain’s Got Talent was in search of new judges (what with Simon Cowell spending his spring in America and Piers on CNBC).

Brian Jackson wants to break a world record (his own), blowing up hot water bottles. Piers buzzes. In a minute and a half, he blows up 0, just 3 shy of the record. The issue: he’s never tried this brand of hot water bottle.

Alaska thinks he can dance. His state would not be proud. Nonetheless, only Piers buzzes. At least the other two tell him no. That’s not enough to prevent Nick Cannon from acting like an idiot and insisting that the particularly stupid acts get more minutes of fame than they should have had in the first place.

Geechy Guy told over 676 jokes in an hour once. He’s sweating through his sweater and his jacket, but that doesn’t stop his speed joking. He talks about his modelling career, how he’s the third one over on the evolution chart. Piers doesn’t find him funny, but the audience disagrees.

Illumni Men’s Chorale is what it sounds like, except they sing Britney Spears. Soleil Rousseau works at a fire station, so naturally she’s a pole dancer. Seth Grabel is an acrobatic magician.

Amadeus is a dog that knocks pool balls into the pockets. Cute, but I’d be impressed if they went in the right order. Piers likes an act for a change, but he is outvoted.

Brandon, Dustin, and Josh are The BGP, a band that’s been together for 15 years. Sharon wants less Elton, more them, but regardless the performance works out quite well.

The Art of Teknique are hip hop dancers age 8-10. No real need for the formality of letting them perform. We already know they’re getting through because they’re cute young kids.

Marylee writes music and lyrics for dead people, which she normally sings in her head. Like Candle in the Wind? Although Piers is not dead yet, singing a song about him is a surefire way to get at least one vote, if not two.

Next we get to listen to more of Christina Aguilera’s not at all funny inappropriate and rude comments.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of America’s Got Talent Season 6 Episode 6, which airs Wednesday at 8/7 on NBC.

We saw the gun toting Rhinestone Ropers, Russian bar group Sandou Trio, and shallow water diver Darren Taylor in America’s Got Talent Season 6 Episode 3. Next we go to Minneapolis, MN. In the middle of winter. Yeah, great planning. Unlike today’s ridiculous 100 degree temperatures (I feel your pain), they were engulfed in a blizzard at that time, I assume the blizzard that shut down the whole damn country. Like a foot or two of snow is going to stop people from Minnesota. It will, however, stop people from Ireland, so no Piers. That’s an automatic no, which Piers would have given anyway, so both Sharon and Howie will both have to say yes for the acts to advance.

Sarah Hoeft has a parrot (Echo of Animal Gardens) with her, one she hopes may perform. Echo sings and does animal impressions.

The St. Luke’s Bottle Band is what it sounds like. No, really.

Lys Agnes has decided to start singing again 2 years after her fiance died in a car crash. She just quit her job to pursue this as a career. Ave Maria is a song people aren’t going to tackle unless they have skill, so either this will be very good or a big joke. In her case, it turns out to be good.

It took Piers 18 hours to get to Minneapolis from New York. He plans to take it out on Howie, who’s enjoying watching a half clothed little person perform.

Those Funny Little People are, uh, dancers dressed up as dwarves, I think. Now that Piers is back, somebody’s getting buzzed. Keeping in line with the rest of the day, they will be going to Vegas. Piers shoves them out of his way, which leads Howie to let them into his dressing room.

Miss Cherries Jubalie likes to pierce every part of her body for fun.

Walt Winston is a folk musician who has 70 hit singles that have been #1 on a small unknown website. Tonight he performs Truck Drivers Aren’t Supposed to Cry. The audience was getting into it, but eventually they come to their senses and start booing.

The Silhouettes is a group of 38 kid dancers ages 9-18. When the lights go down, the reason for their name becomes clear, as they tell a story by creating shapes with shadows. Very cool concept.

The Kinetic King is the best at what he does in the 17 known universes. His exploding stick contraption that he spent 8 hours building is surprisingly entertaining.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of America’s Got Talent Season 6 Episode 5, which airs Tuesday at 8/7 on NBC.

Seattle brought us impressionist Melissa Villasenor and acrobat troupe Zuma Zuma in America’s Got Talent Season 6 Episode 2, along with many bad acts that Howie insisted on letting through to the next round. Houston is the next stop.

The first act of the day is ready to start the auditions with a bang and a really bad pun. Like half the audience, they have brought guns and knives with them. Dan and Melody make up The Rhinestone Ropers. For starters, he throws some knives at her. He insists they’re friends. Then he shoots the balloons she’s holding. After that, it’s time to throw knives at her while she’s spinning. Still spinning, she grabs a gun and shoots some balloons.

Charles Peachock does a lighted juggling act. People like these light acts, so good call. The Purrfect Angelz is a dance group that gets through before dancing a single move.

Ignoring the fact that his gender disqualifies him, Daniel Joseph Baker wants to be a Pussycat Doll. I’m not sure how comfortable America will be with his femininity, but he’s a strong performer.

Jay Maynard is dressed in a Tron costume and believes he’s an Internet superstar. A fat guy in spandex. He was a computer geek long before computer geek was cool. It’s still not cool apparently. Sharon buzzes immediately. Howie makes him start over. Piers buzzes. Howie makes him start over again. Then Howie puts him out of his misery.

Cassie, her husband Constantine, and her brother-in-law Sergei form the group Sandou Trio Russian Bar. I take it she’s the English speaker and/or translator of the group. They grab a bar, and she does acrobatic stunts on it. That nets her a standing ovation from the judges.

Status B.L.A.K. is a really bad singing group that can’t even sing a bad Usher song well. Johnny Di Domenico may look like Howie, but he doesn’t sound like him. Asian James Brown will be wasting our time next.

Dani Shay is a 22 year old girl who has Justin Bieber’s old haircut. She turns out to be a good singer.

Tanner “Lil’ T” Edwards is a 6 year old dancer. So after Howie makes him tell his girlfriend he loves her, which she probably doesn’t hear because it’s past her bed time, he does his thing. How he dances is quite irrelevant because it’s not like the judges are going to tell him no.

Darren Taylor (Professor Splash) will be jumping 26 feet into a children’s pool with 12 inches of water in it. He’s broken his neck twice, but he hasn’t died yet. For some reason, he’s brought some girls in bikinis with him. Not sure what purpose they serve, but it doesn’t hurt. Nick asks for complete silence, so don’t buzz him like Hasselhoff did the time the guy was shoving swords down his throat. His plan is to break the world record on this show if given the opportunity.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of America’s Got Talent Season 6 Episode 4, which airs next on NBC.