Big Brother 18 Episode 1

The first twist of the season is announced within two minutes. There are four stowaways who will join the 12 contestants who enter the house.

Natalie was a NFL cheerleader. Paulie was a Major League Soccer player and is the brother of second place Cody from Big Brother 16. Bronte is a typical Cali girl who sounds like she is 5, but she’s also a math tutor. Victor manages a gym and is excited to live with girls who aren’t his family. Zakiyah is a preschool teacher but calls herself a bad bitch, claiming the other girls will be intimidated because she’s apparently going to go out of her way to make it so. Corey is a baseball coach who sleepwalks. Glenn is a retired NYPD detective. Bridgette is a traveling ER nurse. Jozea is a celebrity makeup artist. Michelle just finished school to be a dietitian who doesn’t want people to fool themselves into thinking they aren’t fat. Paul is a rocker. Tiffany is also a teacher whose sister Vanessa should have won last season.

Neither Paulie nor Tiffany are likely to be able to hide who their relatives are for very long, which could be a problem since both of them came so close to winning.

Victor likes Natalie. Natalie likes Corey. Corey calls Victor a stud.

Paulie immediately finds Paul to be loud and obnoxious. Michelle is afraid of a lot of things like aliens and North Korea and Paul’s beard.

Michelle already knows that Tiffany must be Vanessa’s sister. They look and sound very similar, and it was just last year, not like they dug up someone from a decade ago.

The first stowaway to pop out is Nicole from Big Brother 16, who says she got distracted by Cody, whose brother is now concerned. This is her third chance because she was evicted twice last time.

James from season 17 comes out next. I’m not sure whether the fact that he was America’s favorite houseguest is helpful or not.

Also from his season is Da’Vonne, who was the second person to be evicted.

Last comes Frank from Big Brother 14. Like James, he was voted America’s favorite houseguest. At least with him they’re going back almost four whole years.

The rallying against the returnees is already happening, as is the returnees uniting to try to overcome the numbers.

It’s not like he was going to hide anyway, but Paulie decides to come clean, especially with all these people returning. He reveals that his brother is Cody. In case there was any confusion, he was planning to walk around half naked all season, and his last name is tattooed on his ribs.

Tiffany is not willing to follow suit, despite the fact that both James and Da’Vonne played with her sister.

This summer, they will play the game in teams of four. As stupid twists go, this seems like one of them. The whole point of Big Brother is for people to form their own alliances to their own advantage or detriment. Hopefully this is one of those lame twists that mysteriously vanishes like the twist every week twist from last year that suddenly stopped.

The former houseguests who planned to work together are all split up to start picking teams. When picking, they must choose someone of the opposite sex.

Category 4: Frank, Michelle, Paulie, Bridgette
Big Sister: Da’Vonne, Paul, Zakiyah, Jozea
Team Unicorn: James, Natalie, Victor, Bronte
Freakazoids: Nicole, Corey, Tiffany, Glenn

Paul is happy with his other two team members, but he is already planning to get rid of Da’Vonne.

Their first competition is to ride a rocket. All four members of a team must fall off in order for the teams to be eliminated.

Tiffany is the first to fall, and as he’s complaining to himself and us about that, Glenn follows. Then Nicole. All three from the same team. Michelle and Bridgette fall together, followed by Frank, bringing another team down to one. Da’Vonne and Zakiyah fall together, and Paul is next. Jozea follows, making that team the first to be eliminated, which means they are have nots for the week.

James is the first to fall from his team. Natalie follows. Then Bronte. That leaves three teams with one member each. Paulie falls, and his team will receive a mystery punishment. Corey gave it a great effort after his team all were the first to fall, but he comes in second place, winning cash for his team.

Victor wins safety for his team. Four people are safe. For two evictions. Dumb.

Da’Vonne is angry that she’s stuck with a team of losers, of which she is the queen loser.

Tiffany plays dumb as Michelle confronts her about being Vanessa’s sister, but she finally admits it. Meanwhile, Tiffany thinks Michelle is Nicole’s sister.

So now we get to the next dumb twist. The winning teams will be safe. The losing team will then have to compete against each other for eviction, and the three who remain will have to pick a HOH.

The first round requires them to build a pyramid that is balanced on a plank supported by ropes the other players are holding. Freakazoids are one piece away for half an hour, and that’s as far as they will get. Unlike Big Sister (specifically Paul and Da’Vonne), Category 4 work pretty well together as a team and win.

The losing teams must go against each other. They must build a sandcastle puzzle. Freakazoids buzz in first but have incorrectly built their puzzle. Big Sister do the same, but their problem is a lot easier to fix. They win, which is too bad because I was looking forward to one of them going home. After this, Glenn has decided he hates his team.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of Big Brother 18 Episode 2, which airs Thursday at 9/8c on CBS.