Finally something other than America’s Got Talent to watch, even if it is a rigged show that has me asking every year why I watch it (seasons 2-5 were pretty good, though). Unless you count The Glass House, but since it’s DOA and will be lucky to survive its full 10 episode run, I’m not sure anyone does.
The previously announced 12 member Big Brother 14 cast introduced the third Hantz family member Willie. In addition to those 12, there will be four returning cast members who will be playing their own game for their own prize. The producers told us they would be among the best players ever. Kiss of death. Disappointment and annoyance ensues. We all know they’re going to grab whatever yahoo is desperate enough to return, with a good likelihood that they suck.
I was hoping they gave up on the season 6 idiots that ruined two seasons, but here we go again for part three. Janelle Pierzina, an emotion driven non-strategist who is the worst player to ever stumble her way into the top three twice, is the first returning cast member. At least Howie and Kaysar won’t be back again, though I wouldn’t mind seeing James. She will be joined by Dan Gheesling, who won Big Brother 10 by a unanimous vote. The third returning cast member is Britney Haynes. Apparently, she placed 4th in season 12, just 2 years ago. Yeah, I had to look her up. Still don’t remember who she is. She’s 20-something and blonde if it helps. Lastly, Mike “Boogie” Malin, who was eliminated fairly early in season 2 but redeemed himself with a victory in All Stars. Boogie without Dr. Will? I’m not overly enthused. Granted, he’s a more entertaining prospect than either Janelle or Britney, both of whom land with a big thud on the Big Brother alumni scale.
Wil (with 1 l… really?) lets his sexuality be known in record time. Willie sounds and looks like his brother, which is not lost on Ian, and he plans to play a similar game as Russell did on Survivor. Personal chef Joe is likely to get far just based on his cooking skills. Danielle pretends she’s a kindergarten teacher rather than a nurse. I don’t get the advantage. It’s not like she’s a federal agent or something. Ashley, the cute bubbly blonde, likes nerds, which should bode well for Ian despite him not being in her league or the same sport for that matter.
The returning cast members will be coaches. Wait. What? Are these people so dumb that they need coaches? Especially these coaches? Please don’t tell me this means that all four of them will stick around all season. Surely they need to earn their keep.
Each coach will pick three houseguests. If one of their picks is the winner, that coach will receive $100,000.
Boogie, who evicted the girl his buddy was stringing along (Janelle), sees potential for some conflict with her.
Like Brandon, Willie is pretending he’s not related to Russell. He may not have a tattoo that says Hantz that he has to cover by wearing a shirt all the time in 100 degree weather, but the resemblance just makes it too obvious. Boogie’s not interested in picking him, but he seems like Dan’s kind of player, though picking him is a risk because he’s an easy target.
There are only 11 keys to be handed out. One person will be leaving tonight.
Each coach will now select their teams.
Britney: Shane, Willie, Jojo
Mike: Frank, Ian, Jen
Janelle: Wil, Ashley, Joe
Dan: Kara, Danielle, Jodi
After they get dressed in their pajamas, it’s time for their first competition of the summer. The coach of the winning team will pick the first HOH, while the losing team’s coach must eliminate somebody. Their task is to hop across spinning and shaking mattresses, grab a bear, and get back without falling.
Britney, Janelle, and Boogie’s teams score a point. Britney’s team then takes the 2-1 lead. Dan’s team finally gets on the board. Boogie’s team scores 2. Janelle’s team makes it a three way tie for the lead. Britney’s team wins. After 20 minutes, the coaches are allowed to make a substitution. This allows Boogie’s team and then Janelle’s team to get through the course. It does not do Dan any good, though, as his strategy of picking all women seems to have backfired.
Britney crowns Willie as the first Head of Household of the summer. She knows he’s vulnerable and hopes he can make some deals to keep himself safe going forward.
Because his team lost, Dan must now eliminate somebody. The result here is pretty obvious. Jodi, the last pick who he was stuck with by default, has been eliminated.
Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of Big Brother 14 Episode 2, which airs Sunday at 8/7c on CBS.