It’s the return of the really awful judges and mediocre singers. At least we know that, unlike The X Factor, the judges won’t bicker much. Because they agree that everybody is beautiful and refuse to offer any criticism except to call one of the better singers boring. Here’s hoping Jennifer and Steven can prove less completely useless than they were last year. We start things off in Savannah, Georgia.
David Leathers, Jr. calls himself Mister Steal Your Girl. Really? The judges let him through in spite of this, calling him a young Michael Jackson.
Gabi Carrubba is a champion tap dancer who also happens to sing. I suspect we’ll see her on SYTYCD next. Speaking of which, she doesn’t care about Randy, Jennifer, or Steven, but she does want to hug Nigel. She’s going to Hollywood.
Brianna Faulk, Neco Starr, Molly Hunt, and Elise Testone will be joining her.
Jessica Whitely has sung the national anthem a lot. Her shouting does not go over well, but she threatens to be back in Texas.
Shaun Kraisman is apparently auditioning to be Ryan Seacrest. He’s willing to work for free, which would save them about $15 million, and Rupert Murdoch seems desperate enough to find ways to make money that won’t actually work, what with his staunch support of SOPA and PIPA. His singing falls flat, though.
Shannon Magrane is 15 and already 6 feet tall. Her father, Joe Magrane, pitched for the St. Louis Cardinals in the 1987 World Series. She brings him and her entire family out on stage, which Steven views as the best opportunity to make inappropriate comments about underaged girls. I’ve seen this story before with Jordin Sparks, and she can sing, too.
Amy Brumfield lives in a tent in the woods. She’ll have to pitch her tent behind the mansion.
Joshua Chavis dreams of singing the national anthem at a NASCAR race. Not a bad singer. Not good either. His bubbly personality quickly turns into a sobbing hissy fit.
A nervous Stephanie Renae seems like she’s going to be eaten alive by the process, but she pulls it together for her audition. Her idol is Carrie Underwood, so she’ll be doing one of her songs. The right look with a good voice that just needs a bit of work. Randy says not yet, but the other two let her through.
Schyler Dixon auditioned with her brother Colton last year. He has decided not to bother this year in spite of his top 48 finish, but she’s back. For someone who lists himself as a musician/face painter, you’d think the judges wouldn’t have to badger him into singing again. In any event, they’re both going to Hollywood.
Lauren Mink works with adults with disabilities, and she tries to bring music into that work when she can. Jennifer gets goosebumps.
Mawuena Kodjo is from west Africa. This is American Idol, no? I’m pretty sure. I heard Ryan Seacrest say it. And the guy who wants to be Ryan Seacrest. He claims to be singing a Rascal Flatts song. Disregarding the tone deafness, Randy makes him an offer to pound the pavement and find someone to say he’s good. Finding some combination of the youngest and oldest audience he can, he’s able to get people to support his advance to Hollywood. Still a no.
Ashlee Altise invented a lame dance called joy hopping that the judges encourage, offering further encouragement by letting her go to to the next round.
WT Thompson’s wife is 6 months pregnant, and he just quit his job so he could audition. Steven says no, but the other two say yes. This risk isn’t going to pay off.
Erica Nowak wants to make Steven Tyler her future ex-husband. After she cops a feel, she’s done for the day.
Brittany Kerr is an NBA dancer who gets a yes before she sings a note. Jennifer isn’t interested in hearing any more of what she calls a pretty voice, but the boys want to see more.
Phillip Phillips carries his guitar with him into the audition room but starts off singing Superstition a cappella. Randy has him grab his guitar, and he follows that up with Thriller. This is the audition people will be talking about in the morning. Not sure it was all that great, but still, memorable.
Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of American Idol Season 11 Episode 2, which airs Thursday at 8/7c on Fox.