Simon Cowell returned in The X Factor Season 1 Episode 1, bringing with him singers like Rachel Crow and Stacy Francis. Coming in at about half of Idol’s audience, the show was still very solid, handing Survivor a loss in the 18-49 demographic it rarely sees in the fall before easily losing to ABC’s Modern Family. As much as I’d rather see this judging panel than one where every judge calls everything beautiful, the question has become: how many singing competitions do we really need? The market seems to have reached saturation, but at least X Factor has the star power to keep going, whereas The Sing Off seems better relegated to Christmas or summer.
Tonight the auditions continue in Miami.
Ashley Sansone claims she spent her rent money to come her and audition and endlessly babble. LA wanted to slit his wrists, which for the record is a no.
Chanel Simone Dixon is rejected before singing anything that resembles English. Kanan Road sing a song about running away, which the judges think would be a good idea. The Dreamgirlz aren’t made any cuter by the addition of a z to their name.
Caitlynne Curtis breaks the monotony of 20 minutes of bad singers, but still not good enough. Nicole thinks there’s room to grow. Simon suggests she join a group with 3 or 4 girls her own age where a fantastic vocal is not necessary.
So now half an hour’s gone by, and the judges are getting annoyed. Nick Voss is at least able to bring some entertainment, even if his singing alone would have gotten him rejected.
Ashley Deckard sees dead people, and so does Paula. Her merely decent voice is not sufficient.
Marivana Viscuso demonstrates some vocal talent, although nobody would actually want to listen to it for more than a minute. Still, good enough to advance.
2Squar’d (seriously?) is a girl group singing a cappella that sounds good. Kendra Williams continues the positive trend. Brendan O’Hara also gets 4 yeses. Jeremiah Pagan has a great voice, though as a soprano it doesn’t sound like a male is singing.
Melanie Amaro is the perfect way to conclude the Miami auditions, with a standing ovation. Nicole is inspired, and this is why she does this. Paula doesn’t think she’s ever heard anything like that in any audition. Simon says this is why they brought this show to America.
Miami was largely a disaster, though it ultimately produced a frontrunner, but now we head to Dallas.
Jonny Rogers is under the impression that he has Justin Bieber hair, with which he has an unhealthy obsession. Simon doesn’t get the Bieber comparison, but instead thinks he looks like Barbie’s boyfriend Ken. Bad dancing ensues, followed by worse singing.
Dylan Lawson seemed like a likeable enough guy. Until he started singing. Now he just needs an exorcist.
Wesley Kimbell shouts. Michelle & Michael (who claims he’s a personal trainer) creep people out a bit. Curtis “Phoenix” Lawson is also in need of an exorcist, and Simon tells him to learn a song in English, or at least human.
Dexter Haygood was the lead singer of a band in 1984. His tribute to James Brown falls on unimpressed ears. Simon gives him 15 seconds to try again. This works out somewhat better with the judges reluctantly letting him through.
Kyle Corr, Hannah Jackson, Ma’at Bingham Shango, and Austin Simmons advance to the next round.
Caitlin Koch wants to trade in her rugby (not lingerie rugby like Mikayla on Survivor) ball for a microphone. Nicole would be honored to work with her.
The final act of the night is usually either very good or very bad. It seems by the intro we’re left with the latter. Alexander “Xander” Johnson (aka Xander Alexander) is under the impression he has a cool nickname. I’m sure it was cool back in 1997 when Buffy’s best friend used it. His obnoxiousness wears thin with Simon, who tells him to shut it and start singing. He tries singing one song before being stopped. His second song is marginally better. In spite of it all, Simon likes him. LA and Paula tell him know, which is enough, but Simon tells him he blew it by getting the audience to hate him.
Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of The X Factor Season 1 Episode 3, which airs Wednesday at 8/7c on Fox.