America’s Got Talent Season 5 Episode 1

Chicken catcher Kevin Skinner was the America’s Got Talent Season 4 winner. America’s Got Talent is back again, and this time Howie Mandel has taken over for David Hasselhoff (good trade). He’s been judging the show at home in his underpants since the beginning, so he’s got plenty of experience.

The search begins in Los Angeles. It is open to anyone, any age, any talent.

Future Funk consists of two dancers ages 5 and 9. Howie calls them adorable, funny, talented, and wow. Piers says they’re very good dancers for their age, and he likes their haircuts.

Housekeeper Ranses Valentt moved to America in hopes of making his dream a reality. After he accidentally gets buzzed by Howie, he sings, or at least that’s what he calls it. This time Howie buzzes him on purpose. Nick apologizes for causing people’s dogs to go crazy. Sharon and Piers buzz. Then Howie buzzes again.

Timur & The Dime Museum do Vaudeville operatic fantasy. Whatever that is, it’s pretty freaky. They’re showing the modern state of the economy, which needless to say is pretty bad.

Lui Attanassi fuses the 60s, 70s, and 2000s with a little bit of Latin flavor. Howie would hire them for a party as a comical dance group.

The Chainsaw Chicks make an effort to saw through ice. They fail. Kicking it works better.

SwingShift Side Show are circus freaks. Nick begs them to not do anything that’s going to make him have nightmares. He doesn’t know what they’re doing, but he asks that nobody does it at home. The act begins with staples on breasts. Then fire. Then a drill going through the guy’s nose. Glass biting. Needles. Swallowing swords. Piers enjoys being disgusted. Sharon has seen it all before, but the other two vote yes.

Ade (aka Nugget) is a dancer with a suitcase. Inside the suitcase is another dancer, and together they are Ring Masters. They rip off their shirts and we see more double jointedness than anybody cares to see. Howie’s happy to see something unique. Piers says they’re good dancers who went wrong when they started the bendy freak show stuff. Two votes is enough.

Haspop is in America for dance. I’m a little confused but entertained nonetheless. Piers has never seen anything like that. Howie tells him he deserves to do this indoors and not just in the streets.

Maricar, the first act of the next day, has skin tight leather and a whip. It really doesn’t matter what she does, which she proves with her painting that gets a standing ovation from Piers.

Shoe leather salesman Evan Berst has been dancing for six decades. Still needs more practice.

Voice teacher Hannibal Means is already creeping me out even before he begins. Nonetheless, he’s a pretty good singer. Until he goes ridiculously over the top, which causes Piers to buzz him. Once again, two votes is all it takes.

Ronith is an impersonator who left India because he sucked too much at this there. It’s a good thing he tells us who he’s doing impressions of because otherwise nobody would know. Piers gives him a no, but somehow he gets two votes anyway.

New Directions helps homeless veterans get back on their feet, and its choir is here to sing, spread the word, and inspire. They get a standing ovation from everyone.

You never know what you’re gonna get with No Shade. They sing, rap, tumble, and dance, or at least that’s what they call it. Howie suggests they do what Milli Vanilli did.

Michael Grimm plays music at whatever place will take him. He wants to help his grandparents out so they don’t have to worry any more. It seemed as if he was overplaying the sympathy card, but ultimately he’s got the voice to back it up. He could go a long way.

Stay tuned to dingoRUE for another live recap of America’s Got Talent Season 5 Episode 2, which airs Wednesday at 9/8c on NBC.